2011.

as 2011 comes to a close, I'm grateful for many things that has shaken me or made me a better person. my top 10 list goes something like this:

1. got me some brotherly love

manage to make my way down to brisbane to visit two of the most missed people of my social life - mer and russ. cue 7 days of crazy cold weather, MSG maximus meals, seagulls and hugs. plus it was a break i severely needed, who better to hang out with.

2. welcomed a spanking new baby

baby jeremy came into my life september 2011 - screaming, red and hungry, very much like any wong in the family. i can't wait to see him grow up into a something beautiful and perfect. your aunty loves you very much.

3. watched a little baby turn into a toddler

this is little baby zachary. not a baby anymore. he's developed personality - strong preferences, tempers, longings and a special laugh. he's learnt what colours he likes, what tastes he prefers, who to suck up to for gummi bears. most of all, he's learnt how to be a protector and a brother. zach, your aunty loves you very much too.

4. headed to kayel x 2 + 1

kayel was a special event because there's where i got to learn more about ken's other half. also, i've never seen ken happier - he loves her and that is crystal clear.

5. had a roller-coasting birthday

had a blast and vomit inducing birthday at universal studios with the beau - it was the best day spent out with him - screaming, sweating, paying ridiculous amounts on dinosaur cups. 

6. having a blast in the office.

it's like it was meant to be - yes work is hard, hours long but everything is swell when the people surrounding you are the best. every day my stomach hurts from laughing. there was a point where i questioned - but i'm glad i didn't leave the glory behind. and speaking about the office...

7. having a best friend around 12/5

this year, ken starting working near me - like 2 seconds away from me. initially, i was scared - what if we don't work out or what if i find him offensive? but then, the universe has a special way of proving you wrong. 8 months down the road, we are still best friends - laughing, loving and lackeying.

8. made a difference - or at least tried to.

i voted (twice!) for the first time in 24 years. i had the 'power' to choose and i believe i chose well. it's nice to hear opinions, listening to banter and try to reason. another 4 years!

9. watched wicked.

watched one of my 7 bucket list musicals - courtesy of the beau. it was everything i imaged - dark, funny and spectacular. i cried at "defying gravity" and at "for good" - one more time then i cried at phantom. one down, 6 more to go!

10. loved and loving some more.

it's hard to find someone who gets you. it's even harder to find someone who gets you and sticks around. i get you too. 3.5yrs on and you still make me giggle like we're on our first date.

2011, thanks for a great time. we're left with one more day before 2012 comes and we find out if the mayans are correct. if that's the case, this might be my final top 10 round up list.

if not, i'm sure 2012's list will be even more awesome. 

happy new year :)

from rock and roll to rocking chairs.

wow, it's been almost 5 months since i updated.
lots of things have happened, yet a lot things have remained constant. and for the latter, i'm am grateful for.

having just returned from an invigorating staycation with the beau to celebrate our third (awesome) year anniversary, i feel quite contented with life.

it's been a smooth sailing relationship for the most part of it that has turned into a comfortable, easy companionship. many people have asked me how i have managed to keep this relationship afloat all these years, and i don't have a definite answer.

both of us have flaws, both of us have 'things'. and while most people have said to find someone that completes you and make you 100%, i strongly believe in finding that person that makes you 150%. the beau makes me better, and for that i'm grateful.

so with the first post in the long time, i'm dedicating this to the man that has made an immense change in my life and direction - it's been a rocking 3 years and things are going to get even better.

love.

k is for king.

 

when i'm grey and old, i will look back at this post and think fondly of trip three to kayel.

Night 1

• took a night coach to KL - best decision ever! no kids, no jam, no queues and reached KL in record time
• checked in Alpha Genesis [which mixed up our rooms = separate floors and no smoking room for night 1]
• roamed the streets for famous beef noodles, and found it!
• bought cigs, snacks and drinks for night cap.
• slept like a baby.

Day 1

• woke up incredibly early for genting!
• same route - uncle steven's cab and then cable car.
• genting was 24˚C!
• lady luck was smiling in the morning, was up 250rm
• had international buffet for 18rm
• lost everything after lunch - 0rm - damn the slots. beau won 300rm at the pontoon table so it all evens out!
• went back for a snoozer 
• headed to jalan alor for amazing dinner - zhi char of lala, veggies, butter squid, roast pork ee mee and fried tang hoon.
• pounded jagerbombs at zouk KL where they played the best of 2010 - lady gaga and all!
• left zouk TOGETHER and buzzed. headed to Batika at bukit bintang for a night cap. 18rm for frangelico with CONDENSED milk. fuckyeah!
• went to bed at 3am, while kenneth ventured for tomyam fried rice supper.

Day 2

• woke up late (i.e 11am)
• headed to the famous Madam Kwans where we devoured the best beef rendang ever.
• walked around KLCC - bought uniqlo, mac makeup and topshop stuff.
• headed back to the hotel for a nap (hell yes!)
• woke up just in time for honda showroom hawker centre to open shop!
• whacked ampang yong tau foo, orh luak, wantan mee.
• headed to Batika again for another round of drinks and cigars.
• went to bed super full, was lulled to bed by stirring tummy.

Day 3

• kenneth goes home today :(
• head to chinatown for awesome crayfish ee mee and yeh kuang mee tai mak. 
• walked like 124329840km to get to the place though, but totally worth it!
• went back to the hotel to get kenneth's stuff where we planked
• sent kenneth off, while having our traditional kripsy kreme doughnuts and coffee.
• while kenneth sat the lonely bus ride home, beau and me went wild in FOS and Pavilion's Forever 21. Total damage was 300rm for shitloads!
• had dinner at honda showroom hawker centre - super awesome yong tau foo again.
• walked back to the hotel to digest, spent the rest of the night rolling around in bed and watching Anacondas - the curse of the blood orchid.

Day 4

• it's time to go home.
• woke up early to eat at our favourite char siew stall. never disappoints!
• headed to times square to catch our bus home.

kayel with the boys, a combination that never fails :)

nine one one.

you know who you are.
you have a problem. and i promised myself that i wouldn't interfere until it starting affecting me.

it has. and i hate it. and i know you don't think it is a problem. i know you think it's fun and exciting.

i wish i could understand why you have this problem. i wish someone else could see that this problem exist and help me with it. i have lost respect for you on a level i never thought i could.

you see me look at you. you acknowledge my disapproval, but apparently i don't mean enough for you to do a goddamn thing about it.

What hurts is that, now, we are taking a hit. when you needed me, i was there. and now, when all i ask is that you think of me above that nasty problem, you can't. don't think i don't know why you rather not be near me, it's because then you can run off, collapse in that vaccum and indulge without me judging you.

worse of all, it's a demon i cannot fight on your behalf. and i cannot make you see it. it worries me so much, i don't want to see you fall down the path of what so many have.

my hope, my only true hope, is that i don't get that call, i don't get that information, that the problem has defeated you.

you have a problem. there, i said it.

ten in twentyten.

so the year is almost over. it's the time of the year where i sit back and ponder on what this year has given me.

the ten things i want to remember from 2010.

1. Found the baking bug.

 

2. travelling twice! once to glorious KL where i spent four days eating and "vicing" with my two boys and to phuket where i had lomantic rendovous with the beau.

3. watched my nephew grow into an incredible human being.

4. watch two of my best friends crumble, fall and build themselves up again. i am so proud of both of you to be able to walk again.

5. left a warm fuzzy place and left for a brighter, harsher and more promising place of work. i still miss you guys everyday.

6. left a terrible interim job that bruised my thought that 'as long as you're adaptable you'll be fine anywhere' theory. some places don't deserve your adaptability.

7. watched cockpit perform at one of Singapore's largest indie stage - Baybeats 2010. and again at some smaller gigs but each time getting better and better. i'm proud to be a hen.

8. said goodbye to one of my best friends and sent him to brisbane. i miss you everyday :(

9. finally, after 3 years of throwing it out as a suggestion, we went as captain planet for halloween!

 

10. still having the best, most awesome relationship i have ever been in. 

one the best years i had in a long time. onward to 2011!

it's nice.

it's nice to know i am part of a much bigger, greater thing and contribute to it being big and great.

congratulations to winning agency of the year, yet again, at the IAS hall of fame.

prongsap phuket.

 

day one

- arrived at phuket international airport at 10am

- did a fast check out and managed to get a cab for a steal at 500baht

- drove for an hour through city roads, suburb streets and mountain ways till we reached the picturesque Old Phuket Hotel

- checked in and it started to rain.

- rained in so we order room service - phad thai, soup noodles and shrimp toast

- napped and caught up on sleep.

- ventured out to the enclave that was outside the hotel for dinner. Settled on Andaman Seafood Restaurant because woman was very nice.

- had garlic mussels, green curry, bbq sotong and veg

- during dinner, some kid set off fireworks at the beach, it was awesome!

- bought supplies of chips, drinks and munchies back to the hotel.

- had an early early night.

 

day two

- woke up early for buffet breakfast! had awesome scrambled eggs and toast.

- packed up and swim suited up for karon beach. beach was awesome and windy. the beau got beers and we just chilled.

- headed back to the hotel for a short snooze.

- tested out the jacuzzi in the balcony. lazed in there for a good 3 hours.

- headed out to Jungceylon for dinner: samurai burger from macdonaldns

- ta-pao Zaap from KFC (tomyam drumlets) back to hotel

- bought shit loads of water and goodies from Carrefour

- had an early night in anticipation for Phi Phi!

day three

- woke up at 6am for our tour out to Phi Phi Island

- got into a minivan and sat through an hour long journey to Phuket Pier.

- got onto a boat for an hour and a half ride to Phi Phi Lay, smaller of the two Phi Phi islands.

- saw undoubtedly, the most beautiful island ever

- got off the boat and snorkeled and played with fishies. Freaked out because fishes swarmed around me and nibbled. personal space please!

- got off a Phi Phi Don for lunch

- explored Phi Phi Don's many enclaves and streets.

- settled down at the cutest bakery and had cinnamon bun, chocolate eclairs, coffee and the best mango smoothie ever.

- headed back for a very choppy boat ride back to main land.

- got back to the hotel, showered and went out for kick ass steak at Buffalo Steakhouse - steak, pork steak, meatballs, shrimp salad, french onion soup, garlic bread. 

- headed back to the hotel and had an early night because we were knackered.

day four

- woke up considerably late but still in time for breakfast

- spent the whole morning in the jacuzzi - ah bliss!

- checked out at 3pm and headed to Jungceylon for last minute shopping.

- had phad thai, shrimp fried rice and tom yam goong for lunch.

- had couple time out - I got a manicure and he went to an internet cafe for one hour of me time.

- went to the hotel then airport for our flight home.

- flight got delayed! touched down at singapore at 2am.

Phuket was seriously awesome.

just a note.

nobody, breaks my heart.

OH-EH-SIS

so i started at a new place three days ago.
and it took all of three days to realise that i made the biggest mistake of my entire career.

i now, am sitting in a terrible position - not sure if i should rough it out or struggle to find something new. i'm not sure if this is a sick joke that someone is playing on me.

i am just waiting for opportunity.
an opportunity to feel the same way i felt a while back.

at least at sambadolphin, i was warm and had people i look forward to seeing every single day. and if you are to work in such a high stressed environment, you need to be with people you truly like and love.

i loved you guys, and i am kicking myself for letting you go.

it's too late now, i'm opening an old wound.

farewell.

it was poignantly beautiful today.
it was my last day at my company. it's been one month since i handed in my resignation.

i thought leaving would be easy, but i was oh so wrong. i realised it was the last time i would walk down that red carpeted corridor, the last time i would scan my card at the reader and take off my shoes, dump my bag at the left hand side of the table and turn on the laptop.

the last time i would get that cup of aik tong coffee and have breakfast while i read the straits times and wait for my emails to load.

the last time i would look over to my left and glare at my manager for playing kenny g, the last time i would look across the room to pass a look of approval for the crazy youtube video my designers sent to me.

this was suppose to be easy. but it was the hardest thing i ever had to do at my whole time at my company.

in the middle of the david gates and boyz II men songs, while everyone was singing and giving me hugs of good wishes, i secretly, held back tears that would have easily given away that my stoic stance.

i am going to miss you guys, just like a first love.

to you.

My atoms and chemicals could've been made anywhere in the universe, but they were made here, near you. Near yours.

you made me, alive again.

thank you.

three.

i can't believe it's been three years since you passed away.
i remember the year, only because i jotted it down in this blog.

it's been three years since i lost you completely. and honestly these three years have been so tough.

there were many nights of crying, wishing you were here.
there were many nights of laughing, washing you away.
there were days of pure agony, knowing touch is a never ever.
there were days of pure comfort, knowing you and i are in a better place.

i've learnt to live without you comfortably, but it doesn't mean i don't think about you time to time. things around me trigger these inner thoughts of you, floating around in my mind like a persistent idea.

you come in the weirdest of times - in the middle of a meeting, or when i am trying on a dress in the fitting room. you just invade my space, knowing full well i am not ready to think of you. it is annoying sometimes you know, when i'm trying to focus on the task at hand, and there you are, just running in. it's very like you to do that actually, you always appear and disappear as and when you please.

but you always leave a sweet aftertaste... just a hint of sorrow but a little bliss as well. that's the way you wanted me to remember you. at the end of the day, i always smile when i think of you, no matter how painful the memory of you is.

i've been having better days - i'm with someone i love now - it is something you always hoped i would find, regardless if you were in the equation or not. i think you will like him, you and him share the same brand of odd humour.

i really hope, despite of all the years to come, despite of all the life memories that will occur, despite the people i'm with and meet - you will always, always be drifting in and out of my mind.

rest well, gab. i really do miss you, and i know you do too.

taken off and out.

i am super proud of you, the beau.
no matter how silly, unbelievable or stupid your endevours are - know i that i'm super behind you.

cockpit ftw!

bye bye baby bye bye.

i handed in my resignation letter two days ago.
amidst all the chaos of securing a new job, trying to find the right words to say, getting my resume in place -

i forgot why i wanted to leave in the first place.

today, i was rudely reminded. and a tiny glimmer of hope shined in my heart when i looked at you. i just have had enough - and i know you could see it in my heart.

in September, I'll will be starting at the spanking new place which wants me bad enough to pay me more, bend over backwards and accommodate my wants and demands.

i think change was something i needed.

space out

life has been easy so far.
i just realised that's why i don't blog much now.
oh well, no news is good news :)

waving flag.

found a fantastic mural designs done by ESPN in line with the World Cup 2010.
these are satirically fun and well executed - loved england's!

  see the rest here.

dcfc.

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark.

i have decided that my next tattoo embodies the above quote from dcfc's follow you into the dark. 

because i realised, i have nothing left of you.