//hearin aid: here is gone - goo goo dolls

I thought I lost you somewhere but you were never really ever there at all

school's overwhelming like a leech who sticks on your skin and has a layer of fire retardant on it.
it just won't come off.

i went down one night stand after grandma's just to see if david's still performing there.
here is the part where my tv prod group is going to hate murder me in cold blood.

he left. like a month ago.
and my mom knew but it slipped her mind.

So after travelling from novena to clarke quay alone and very quietly as the phone radio is down, i reach to a generally empty club. After asking around, the manager came out said david's home in canada. it was heartbreaking...

only because i can see val and adel's face twitching with the uncomprehensable urge to take a chopstick and shove it up my nose. repeatedly.

(side note: adel i hope your nose is feeling less raw heh.)

... and i stood there in a slight state of shock. ok. i muttered.
do you have any other acts? i explained about tv prod.

oh yes, he laughed gleely. but he's not very good lah

ok. i just said my thanks and ran out to prepare to get killed.
but i got a plan B! but its not a solid one. heh.

i'm not going to be killed but just in alot of pain.

//hearing aid: stars - switchfoot

Maybe I've been the problem, maybe I'm the one to blame


latest by me

its been a horrid week so far.
from me being sick to rejection for going to a camp
to work piling up, the boyfriend and church crap.

everyone's got this preset notion that i'm wonder woman. i should/could/would do everything and anything

i hate it when people in my church come to me and ask me to do publicity/advertising/emcee-ing/posters/movie/radio commericals just because i study it in school

fuck off. i'm human. I AM STILL STUDYING IT. which probably translate to i'm no good at it yet.
Go ask my professional photographer brother to take the photos.
ask the paid do-for-a-living pro to do the publicity and advertising.
go ask the real DJ in church to do the fucking radio shit.

you guys have these vision. but don't forget me.
i'm only a student. i'm not some high paid slut slave for you to abuse and make use of as and when you wish.
you guys took the joy of going to church and actually helping people.

its just a bad bad time for me now. i wanna curl and die.
and you're not making it better

And maybe I'm overcast and maybe all my luck's washed down the drain

//hearing aid: iris - goo goo dolls.

the ex files

since i was still feeling sore about missing the vunderful weekend with the pimps, i decided to endulge myself into 4 more hours of sleep.
woke at 12 and missed church all together. pfft.
was feeling lousy in the afternoon so i decided to

grab the cousin and run down to ps to find an organizer for desmond
he needs to be organized. ha.

so off we went browsing through shop after shop.
you know guys and bose? yeah it happens. the cousin ran into the bose (or was it loewe?) and left me outside against the railing.

lo and behold.
i meet the ex.

he looks awful.
shan't say much. find out more from me.

we exchanged a few words and apparently, he's doing pretty while in the states.
i can't stand it, he looks like a girl.

just then the cousin walks out and has an extremely puzzled look on his face.
"where have i seen you before? OH! at makan session at the 3rd aunts? eh where did you go?"

i nearly died. yes i failed to tell the now no-longer-close cousin of mine the truth behind the whole saga
but
being 21 you should know.

despite all, the ex is still the suavest. he smiled and waved, flicked his hair and walked away.
i melted. into a puddle of cow mucus.
he has longer hair then me la

it has been like 2 years since we spoke and boy, has he changed.
and his new girlfriend, cowers in fear behind him.
look sweetheart, you should be ashamed. he ended up like this WHILE with you la.

I don't see the man i use to be with anymore. i think he died when i slapped him.
my cousin still doesn't get it. sheesh.

i guess its times like this i'm glad i didn't have to lie to be better off then the ex.

//seeing eye dog: america's sweethearts - teevee.

its funny how your name stands for opportunities and you gave me none.
you denied me of a space because i was sick. but recovered but not fast enough apparently
i hope you read the email, learn some human relations from it and not turn anyone away from your retreat again.
sister

because i couldn't go to the camp for some unforseen circumstances, i went out with desmond for the whole day. We went to sim lim. ok.
and then we went to cine where i rediscovered my love to GUNBOUND! ha.
then makan at jacks and now i'm home, doing my projects
having a room all to myself, the aircon at whichever temp i want, doing whatever whenever.

yes i'm just bitter but hell, i should make the most out of the situation.

i am not going back to your weekend. no, what if i fall ill again?

//hearing aid: into the round up - ocean's twelve ost


by lin xuanbin. my favourite piece to date

it just might be retribution. but then again.

i stuck at home with food poisioning and severe fatigue.
might as well, i could catch up on work. and sleep

there's just nothing in my head now besides throbbing pain