and they say.

love exists. we haven't discovered it yet.

top sex.

today during lunch, my colleagues were discussing on the sexist people ever.

The criteria was personality, looks and pure raw sexual power.

though mixed reviews and many tears and heated discussions, 8 of us managed to agree on 10 people - 5 men and 5 women - who are the sexist people ever to live and walk this earth.

i present to you the sexist people ever:













do you agree? i think you do.

pack my bags.

You think you’re waiting for help. For someone to tell you what the right thing to do is. Even though, at the back of your mind, you already know what that is. So all you’re really waiting for, is a time when you’re forced to do it.

When you finally understand what it meant, the truth will leave your lips. Not as words. But a sound at the back of your throat.

You will hear it and no one else will, like your soul wears headphones and only it can hear the music.

If it was easy, everyone would do it. But it's not. Which is why it's up to you.

I feel guilty for not feeling guilty.

I don't know if it is suppose to be so easy. Are we meant to block out things we know we cannot deal with? Is it our mind and body's way of defending itself - much like how the brain produces adrenaline in times of fear and panic or when the body produces antibodies for a virus each time we are infected with a new one?

Is this my mind's way of telling me: you can't deal with it?
so don't deal with it, lock it away so that we won't need to suffer a breakdown.
Other people need you, your job needs you, your beau needs you, your friends need you.

You don't need you. You just contort and follow in everyone's plan and then it will be fine. Because of this, you will have multiple backup plans - you'll never be alone.

I hate feeling like I don't care. Because I do, because I want to care. I want to feel that I'm living for myself. And the sad part, is that I don't care enough (or at least my mind says I don't) to even do that.

I feel guilty for not feeling guilty.

oh, bugger.
the week went by really quickly and somewhat painfully.

firstly, mj dropped dead.
secondly, all of my projects got pushed back cos my client is quarantined.
thirdly, i got some terrible news which involves intrusive solutions.
lastly, i found out the beau is working all weekend at an event.

on the total opposite side of things...
firstly, mj can never die because he is immortal.
secondly, all of my projects pushed back = no over time for me.
thirdly, at least this news made me realise how important i was to someone.
lastly, i got all the time this weekend with zac without feeling guilty.

see, giant silver lining is works!

HUGE NOTE
i'm thinking of taking a trip to thailand in oct - all in 4d3n at 187, any takers?