beautiful day.

honestly, one of the most wonderful days i have had in a long time.

i woke up with a smile on my face (despite of the drilling my neighbour was doing) because i saw something beautiful.

then i watched mythbuster on discovery which is like the most awesome show ever. (did you know cans of cookie dough CAN explode in your car on a hot day?)

then i got dressed and hopped to school with edric. it was a breezy ride that took me through the streets on a cloudless day.

then i got to school where my lecturer was a complete hoot and made the class uber interesting.





we hopped on to botak jones for magaritas, brownies and fondue.
just that and endless amounts of laughs and conversation.

then home with candy as bubblegum like company.


i wish days like this will never end. never.
thursdays are my favourite day.
absolutely!

love is not victory march.

it's a cold and a broken hallelujah
jeff buckley, hallelujah

i'm sitting in the coldness of shaun's room, after having a birthday surprise for him. it went well and now he's just reading and i'm having bob, the beagle, as company.



this morning, i had a dream so vivid, it stayed in my mind the entire day. i kept asking people what it could mean, what it said about it, so much so i nearly paid a tarot card reader to interpret it for me. but the finances are suffering thus i am left with what you might think it means:

"it is a wet morning and somehow, everything is monotoned. my mom wakes me up and tells me war is coming and i should grab my important things and run. my room was exactly as i remembered it just before i went to sleep: my book on my headstand and my nail polish on the floor.

i grabbed a jacket, somewhat furry air-force looking one and a pair of jeans and my bag i carried the day before.

outside, there were tanks on my usually serene neighbourhood with soldiers and guns. everything was a hue of grey and green. i stood there with my hands in my pockets and i fished out a gummy bear. i saw kenneth and merlynn standing in line for something so i walked to them.

at this point, i thought to myself is this dream? then why is everything so real? i realised i was enlisted into the army as a decoy, someone to act as bait. my bag was taken away from me and i was issued a white sack to wear. my head was shaved off and i was told i will never see my family again.

i cried at this point of the dream, just sobbing as i sat at the back of a truck. i watched as the truck pulled out past common landmarks around my house and dropped me on a field opposite eminent plaza, a field which isn't there in reality.

i got into a tent where i shared with two people. i keep thinking i'll never see my family again, and how i was going to die. i ate canned food, washed other people's white sacks and realised i was in a 'slave' camp where we were all bald and forced to die.

i was climbing out of my tent when i heard a blast. it was loud but subtle, like in the movies. i ran with all my might and ended up at an old school kopitiam where i heard my name being called.

it was my parents, sitting drinking kopi and eating kaya toast. i hugged them and my mother ordered milo for me. they told me that my brother had died during the war and that now, there was a truce and all decoys who can find their parents within 24 hours will be set free.

i insisted on retrieving my bag from the tent, something which i don't remember having, so my parents said they will wait for me at the kopitiam. i ran off and suddenly a bunch of decoys appeared with me. they followed me to this carpark where i got my bag. i kept wanting to go toward my parents (all by foot) but i kept ending up at this particular carpark.

i was frantic, the thought of never see my family again kept haunting me.

then i woke up.

there was so much detail involved, i kept thinking about it the entire day.
oh well, somethings just dont need to be deciphered.

the prep party.

happy birthday shaun!
shangri-la was good, but not as much as i hoped it would be. eh.

headed down to tml's venue for a quick prep / cleaning party with janice, kenneth and char. boy did we have fun with the ballons.
















i really think this post speaks for itself.
:)

mama mia.

what a week

first official week of 2008 has already sucked the energy out of me to need a whole year to rest.

this week can be summarised in one gigantic sigh, a sigh that signifies tireness and breaking down.

2 birthdays (happy birthday mary and ros!)
2 catching ups (love, kev and char)
1 bon voyage party (with love, be safe matthew)
1 full day youth event (yay city district!)
1 house warming (thanks elaine and aaron)
Meetins upon meetings at work.

good night world.

this week, school with start, actually in about 8 hours, and new work commitments will force me to grow up. i got really excited about a new project coming up, getting my hands dirty and so on. but then again, more time taken away from me during the week.

This morning, i woke up earlier than usual to talk to my mom. i haven't seen her in a week and decided to have breakfast with her at our balcony. nothing fancy just tea and some bread and nutella.

i really love my mom. it's hard to say it in her face without both of us cringing at each other and questioning each other's intentions, but i do really love her. she sat with me today and told me about her week. how the laundry man screwed up her silk blouse, how she ran into an old friend who was pregnant at 48, how she pretends to sleep every night until i come home so she knows i'm home safe.

and we chatted in the balcony till it was time to for me to leave. for me to leave. i almost didn't want to go for my plans and just wanted to be home with her. i was this (index finger and thumb incredibly close) close to cancelling my plans really.

but she said go.
don't disappoint your friends.
you made a committment
you must be responsible.

though i saw that truely she wanted me to stay home with her and watch reruns of the gilmore girls, i went anyway. throughout the day i thought of her constantly. i even called her during the day which is very rare for me.

"are you having fun?"
"yeah, what are u doing at home?"
"watching tv loh, who is there?"
"kenn, char, steph they all."
"russell and nick leh?"
"i think coming later."
"oh, ok la, u youngsters have fun. i old fart going to lie on my bed and eat chocolates. bye bye."


i love my mom. :)

new year comes and the old one goes.

the first post of two-oh-oh-eight.

the new year into 2006 was spent gyrating with 457439807 other party goers in MoS on a fucking hot, drunken stupor. i hated it.
the new year into 2007 was spent at char's place, amidst close friends and champagne spillage. we had mahjong and bubbly. i liked it.

this year, my whole gang spent it apart. kenn at his friend's, russ with his sji boys, char with her family. i was quite scared because i realised i had no one to spend this cannot-be-alone day of the year with.

despite countless of please come to my party's and why not spend it at home's, i decided to forgo the loud party poppers and head over to janice's for one of the quietest new years i had in the longest time.

just six of us, good food and bubbly chilling in the cold new years. i have to admit, i was apprehensive at first, feeling a little empty. but as the night eased in, i realised i had in fact eased into a new brand of partying - quiet, few people and just talk.

that's what i did this new years, talked. spent it with people who wanted to sip wine and not down it. we talked abt so many relevant topics that concerned me. our lives , our regrets our resolutions.

ee peng, mark, me and steph. at the stroke of midnight!

at the stroke of midnight, we just stood around, with our shots in hand and yelled. hugs and wishes later, we resumed our talking and chilling over good conversation. i liked it. in fact, i craved it. after years of loud and head banging, this is exactly what i needed - peace and quiet.

this new year's, instead of making resolutions, i've decided to reflect and be thankful for:

my family. for accepting that finally, i am older and letting me lead. this year saw many points that made me realise family is such an important element in our lives. i saw so many broken relationships. the unit is so essential to well-being. i'm glad i can come home at night, get a cup of milk and sit around with my brother and chat, i can take silly pictures with my mom and give my dad a hug for soup he lovingly boils for me.

my old friends - those that stuck around for years for some reason i cannot fathom. despite my ways, they just stuck around for more. they got to know me more and more. i'm grateful for every little stupid thing we go through. kenn, russ, and char are just the closest thing to true love i have encountered. i'm truely blessed.



my new friends - people i've met along the way, people whom i've grown towards such as the bunch in the first picture. enriching my life day by day. these new relationships change the course of my life. for sera and candy who have become my essential thursday additions. thanks to steph and janice, brian and meanie who transcended from 'just friends' to 'friends'.



my past - every single event in my life has led me here. which isn't as half bad i thought it would be. for every ex boyfriend, every fallen friendship, every mistake, i've not forgotten you. most of all, you brought me one step closer to knowing what i want in my life.

my school + job - of which one prepares me for the future, and one sustains my present. i thankful for imsg taking me in and letting me take the steering wheel. i'm thankful for colleagues that take time to teach me, as well as ex-colleagues who are more concerned for my growth than i can be.

my God - for reasons that i will find out soon. right now, i'm away from this whole religion thing, citing obligation over dedication. but i will be ok soon.

my life - every breath.

i have so many things to look forward to in 08 - the brother's wedding, going for a short trip, graduating and most of all, becoming an adult. so many new horizons to explore, so many new encounters to take my breath away. i'm going to take this year as slow as possible, to really soak in everything that occurs around me, simply because this will be the year that change will take over me.

change. that's a scary thing. but somehow, i cannot wait for it to engulf me.

2008 spells excite for me.
happy new year everyone.
it is indeed, a happy one.