dear kenneth,
i know it is a little late for this but happy birthday. you're 22 now, older than all my other best friends.
7 years ago, I admit, when i first shook your hand and mumbled my name out to you, i thought that would be the last thing i was ever going to say to you. You were sheepishly and painfully shy, drove many girls insane with your conga playing and drumming and i on the other hand, barely awakening from my adolescence, wanting to fit in with all the other girls.
Honestly, when i first met you, i really could not be bothered. it was all the other girls who followed you around that forced me to be friends with you. i guess it's fates way of saying hello, is it me you are looking for?
I don't know if you remember this, but the first time we ever had a conversation was on the first day of choir. I was 15-ish, fresh out of the wardens with char at my arm. She was introducing me to all of you guys, russ, ade and all. I barely knew you, and you barely knew me.
You said, "you're karen right?"
I said, "yeah, the only girl who isn't infatuated with you."
that was our first conversation really.
From there it sprang to weekly lunches and random meetups as i got closer to russ and char. it was never you somehow, never you who i wanted to be with. you were always a second degree, an after thought of friendships.
From the weekly lunches, we started working together. everyday for 3 months, it was you, me and russ at 630am in the morning till 12. Pool and cigs after that. we spent waking hours together, and when russ didn't come to work, it was just you and me.
and that's how it ended up really, just you and me.
there was one night, eons ago i called you. i guess i didn't know what i was doing. Big F was being his usual self and for some reason i called you. Not char, who knew the situation more than u did, not russ, who was closer to me than u at that point but you. the skinny outsider who i spent days with but really had no clue who you were.
from that night, i believe, was the start of our friendship. that night you transcended from being "just a friend" to "the best friend". Every night we would talk, about the most ridiculous things from movies to breakups, schools to girls.
I remember we even went down to NP to do the interview for Mass Comm and FSV together. when i got in, you were the first person i called. and the amazing thing is that, even though you didn't get in, you were genuinely happy for me. this genuine happiness carried through 3 years of poly where every time i fucked up an assignment or felt i couldn't do it, you never told me to give up.
always there.
and the first time you called me your best friend (to some girl at some youth event), i swear, goosebumps just rose. i remember having this conversation with you, asking u if you really thought i was your best friend, or u were trying to pick up the girl by appearing more sensitive.
your reply was simple. "you not my best friend then who? sai baba ah?"
Now, our topics evolve around more mature things like jobs, cars and our bleak future. we talk about everything now, and the moment i feel down, it's you i think of calling. nowhere else, will i be able to find, someone so ready, so intuned with me. you understand my inner sanitariums so completely, sometimes u scare me.
from being the first guy i actually ever cooked with, to the first guy i call when something happens, i hope you'll be the last guy at the end of the day too.
kenneth, i know we never say it enough, but i do love you. Everyday you are constantly there for me, making trips from bishan to boon keng even though i know it's really far, thinking of where we could go and eat when our pay cheque comes in, always calling me when i'm not there and when i'm at my lowest, you not only pick me up but put me higher than i was before.
so my best friend, happy birthday.
here's to every single stupid thing that happened in our lives and eventually brought two ridiculously mismatched beings together as friends.
with love,
karen :)
