spent all my time waiting

for that special one,
the one that will make it ok

it's been almost two months since bangkok and now i finally got the pictures!
i almost forgot how fun it was.
and to ease the eyes, i grouped them.

the plane away to where all my worries end.


the fantastic coco walk buffet


the shopping madness. madness i say.


the unforgettable melt in your mouth thai cuisine.


the nights that seem to last forever.

i miss my $2.20 ciggies, $2.40 beer, my $3 for 4 meals and my siew bak.
most of all, i miss my company.


we ran to smoke, and we were late for our flight. such addicts.


imissyoular.

note to self: something to look forward to - VIETNAM!

bob the beagle.

today was a fantastic day.
absolutely fucking fantastic. meaning i didn't thinking about him and her and him and her all day.

i spent the day with kris at ikea tampines. it was awesome. there was laughing, shoving, yelling, meatballs, chicken wings, steak, coffee, iced chocolates, talking, vietnam and just hanging out with the love of my life, kristine yeo.

the pictures will tell.



on top of that, shaun came by with bob, his new beagle. it is so throw-him-on-the-floor adorable. it's 4 weeks old today and has a pair of the saddest eyes he has ever seen. and since i can't take any pictures of him, shaun says he's too weak to take my cam whoring, he sent me the cutest picture he got of him today.



this was taken at his friend's place. bob is my new love. and we spent almost 1,000 on the dog today with the kennel, the water dish, the formula, the toys. bob is so loved.

hello puppy.

goodbye my lover

"insanity destroy reason" - Nathaniel Emmons

i don't like that i'm jealous.
he says it's endearing.
i think it's sickening.

ugh, i'm a selfish selfish woman.

and i got hired!
sixtynine communications.
mark says it's 'so me'.

i also say.

crash into me.

you got your ball, you've got your chains

as the itunes plays out the best of dmb,
i think it's time for some reflection.

the whole issue with the two of them has gotten me very irritable and very upset. i don't even know why i'm feeling this way. it's left me feeling incredibly sore and bitter about them, about relationships, about trust and about love.

is it so difficult to just see things in the big picture?

today, as i sat down with shaun and poured everything out, it made me think about certain relationships in life. the failed ones, the ones that lasted, the ones dripping with love, the ones soaked in hate. i made me wonder if relationships, both platonic and two-to-tango types, are in fact such an intergal part of my life to a point that they teach me how to think and react.

if not for the previous outburst, the previous problem, i wouldn't have done what i have done today. the problem took away faith in human nature and took away my belief system. it took away ounces of respect and practically a friendship. i hate feeling this way and honestly, i really want to walk away and just fuck it. it's something that's not my problem and it's not my situation. somethings are just left as wishes.

is it so hard to step away?

i guess it is. it's not my problem. i can just sit back and let people call me a meddlesome trouble maker or a liar or even a tramp but i can't. it's not even a problem with name calling, the issue is just not that simple. i hate that i am thinking about it constantly. i hate that i want to not care and i hate it that people are seeing it as i'm a nosey parker.

shaun told me that i was just being a friend. a friend supports, not discourages. a friend laughs and not scroffs. a friend accepts not reject. what kind of fucking friend have i been all this while.

and as more and more days go by, i feel myself losing it. i'm losing the faith i have in fairy tales and happily ever afters. i'm losing faith in time, in love. i probably have come to terms with never finding a person who i can trust completely. this situation has left me incredibly tainted and sore. and it's nobody's fault.

i'm sorry that i had to do this. but no one really can understand because the more i speak, the more muffled i get. it's really funny because halfway through, shaun just stared at me and said pardon?.

is it so hard to let go?

yes.

made in india

all i want is to be made in india

no goa this time, but russ cheered me up with a somewhat indian treat:




it is the best somewhat indian food i have ever tasted.


iloverussellgabrielpng.

lazy monday mornings

i guess it's time I run far, far away;
find comfort in pain,
all pleasure's the same
james blunt - tears and rain

bran's tag got me thinking about my weekday mornings.

when i was in primary 5, bran's parents would drop him off at my place in the mornings because his school starts about the same time, so my maid can take care of us.

i use to sleep with my parents so sometimes, when he is early, he would jump into the mass of mattress and scare me awake. then we would wrestle for a while and scratch each other and when we had bruises, we would use the names of christine and jodi to tell our parents how we got the scratches and bruises. they were our bullies.

after that, we would sit on my parent's bed with our coco pops cereal with milk and pajamas. on came the tv where we would watch the puzzle place, beakman's world and jewel riders. and my maid would let us leave the air con on.

we would curl up under my parent's blanket just because we were too cold. we would argue about what we watched, tried the experiments on beakman's world. then finally we would go and shower (separately please) and go downstairs and wait for the school bus together.

at that time, bran was my world and my boy.
gone were those days huh my boy?

you know you're special, always.

the puzzle place

i'm sure you have seen it

when me and my friends were talking about childhood cartoons such as jewel riders, captain planet and felix the cat, i got excited and said: "oh my gosh, do you remember the puzzle place?! it showed every weekday at 10am!"

cue awkward silence, merciless stares and crickets mating noises

no one has heard of the puzzle place! it was my favourite kid's show of all time, beating barney and sesame street ok. and everyone was convinced it was all in my imagination. NOW, i prove you wrong, you unbelievers!



there is a show called the puzzle place and it promoted harmony among races in america and creative thinking ok!
like that is so ultimately cool. and my favourite was the asian chick, Kiki just cause she's asian. no particular reason.

and then i went on to say,"AND BEAKMAN'S WORLD?"
shaun said: "oh poor thing, she has all this surpressed childhood dreams, she even has tv shows."

SHAUN, bite me.



i loved beakman's world. it's all about science and how the world works! he even taught me how to make sugar crystals and how to get salt out of water when i was 7 - 8 ok. i was way ahead of the science syllabus because of beakman can.
and before the show begins there will be these penguins in the north pole (or is it south, eh) and they would give you the 'beakman's random fact of the day"! it's like a snapple bottle cap, only you have two penguins who cannot find the remote control under the snow telling it to you!

i miss my childhood,
it was a simpler time.

boy, are we in a pickle now.

i wish i could tell you everything i know
everything i saw
everything i feel

there is a brink of dislike and hate.
i am pretty sure i'm past the hate bit.

you irk me.

let's have a little fun today

ellen

i look forward to 5pm everyday for the ellen degeneres show.
it is simply downright quirky and funny and damn happening.

i even wikipedia-ed her. i think i love her. which would make me a little homosexual which works in my favour anyway (in reference to her). do you think she and portia-de-rossi are going to make it? ugh.

i found this adorable ad she did for american express. most probably won't make to it our little island la. chee.




and she dated on of the actresses from L word.
how apt.

now we know.

lookie what i found!

aw, he looks just like our kid, fabio real gonzales wei han.
and to that, my dad just told me we'll be passing through madrid and valencia.

i think i might have a couple of hours to cling on to raul's palm trees in his home.
and if we visit some stadium where real madrid practices, i will roll in the grass and cling on to the lockers.
i will do it.

deinarda baby.

just another manic monday

these are the days
when you wish your bed was already made
the bangles - manic monday

i met kevin and char for lunch today. we went to the famous mint cafe.



the place is damn nice. very small, probably can sit about 30 - 40 pax the most. but it was completely empty which is odd, because the food was pretty good.

above the cafe is singapore first and probably only toy museum. we didn't have time for a tour, but char said the toys are darn right amazing.

we had the set lunch ($13.80++) which consist of main course, soup, drink and dessert.

i had the chicken and mushroom lasagna which was beyond my expectations.



the portion was huge. you guys know how much i chow and i couldn't even finish half of it. the soup (pumpkin) was excellent. i hate pumpkins. detester of pumpkins ok. but the soup was very, life-changing. haha.

the dessert was chocolate mousse. i was very very VERY happy.

plus of course, i got to dine with two of my favourite artsy people.

silent all these years.

what if i'm a mermaid
in his jeans
with her name still on it
silent all these years - tori amos

easter was, to say the least, blissful. i had the best time with my loves russ, kenneth and char. finally, rus had the car with a legal driving license, so we cruised to clementi al-ameen for supper. we talked about life, love, lack of love and life among other tear jerking, laugh inducing moments.

i realised, as i was sitting in the monster that rus calls his car, i am so incredibly lucky. i have 4 friends who love me despite of my whining and crying and insults and worst moments. we've been friends for 7 years (for nick, 4) and we've even hung out everyday before and we've probably never gotten sick of each other.

i like to think that we're no longer friends anymore. we're family. i can sit with my legs open, talk with my full, snort when i laugh and they wouldn't mind. they would laugh, with me not at me and won't think any less of me.

and through every single drop of heartache, happiness and such, they been there. never to judge never to hurt, only to love.


i love you charlene, kenneth, russ and nick.
it's been so long since i've said that to you,
but it is still the truth straight from my heart.


it's been here, silent all these years

seasons.

minutes between the hellos and goodbyes
hours between the hi's and so longs
days between the how have you beens and see you laters
years between the it's been a whiles and don't leave mes
i am alive in those moments, hours, days and years,

all other times, i'm dead.


by candy of white dog bobby

it just says so much.

content to remain.

and it's ironic to be back in the game
lauren wood - fallen

the past few days were, to say the least, very excite and irrites. (translated into exciting and irritating)

first there was the tattooing. which hurt but very liberating. mer got her's the day after, and she pretty much enjoyed it too.







that's the artist behind mine too. carlston.

saturday was spent with pearl and mr. bean in the theatre. we had a good breakfast at pacific talking about life, the future and the beautiful saturdays to come.

along came mer, nurul and sandee and of course we hopped on to cafe del mar. much to our dismay, it rained then shined. we got a damn good seat... to the fashion show!

hot men, MR. DECEMEBER WAS THERE! omg omg omg. i hyperventilated. a photographer took our pictures too. whoar. so we've been stomped.






then we hung out for hours, lazing by the beach, watching the sun set, sipping our beers and having our smokes. we went home feeling a little more relaxed and a little more lazy.

sunset in your eyes.

say you'll share with me

one love, one lifetime
- raoul and christine, phantom of the opera, say you love me.

pardon the pun:

phantom of the opera was phantastic.




Phantom of the opera was on the 'must watch musicals' on my list and i am so amazing lucky to have watched it. It was, nothing less of breathtaking. nothing less of everything i imagined it to be.

it was sad, magical. i always pictured the gorgeous costumes, the loud beautiful voices and the chandlier. the famous mask. i was completely, entirely blown away. from start to end.

there were explosions, and gun shots and fire. there were candles and moving boats and things dropping here and there.

the props, the stage, the voices, the phantom.
it was one of those, i can watch it 3412385789 times and love it more and more.

and i cried like no other at the end because it was so freaking sad and because it was over.


and plus plus, there was a raoul involved.

next up: evita in london!