three.

i can't believe it's been three years since you passed away.
i remember the year, only because i jotted it down in this blog.

it's been three years since i lost you completely. and honestly these three years have been so tough.

there were many nights of crying, wishing you were here.
there were many nights of laughing, washing you away.
there were days of pure agony, knowing touch is a never ever.
there were days of pure comfort, knowing you and i are in a better place.

i've learnt to live without you comfortably, but it doesn't mean i don't think about you time to time. things around me trigger these inner thoughts of you, floating around in my mind like a persistent idea.

you come in the weirdest of times - in the middle of a meeting, or when i am trying on a dress in the fitting room. you just invade my space, knowing full well i am not ready to think of you. it is annoying sometimes you know, when i'm trying to focus on the task at hand, and there you are, just running in. it's very like you to do that actually, you always appear and disappear as and when you please.

but you always leave a sweet aftertaste... just a hint of sorrow but a little bliss as well. that's the way you wanted me to remember you. at the end of the day, i always smile when i think of you, no matter how painful the memory of you is.

i've been having better days - i'm with someone i love now - it is something you always hoped i would find, regardless if you were in the equation or not. i think you will like him, you and him share the same brand of odd humour.

i really hope, despite of all the years to come, despite of all the life memories that will occur, despite the people i'm with and meet - you will always, always be drifting in and out of my mind.

rest well, gab. i really do miss you, and i know you do too.

taken off and out.

i am super proud of you, the beau.
no matter how silly, unbelievable or stupid your endevours are - know i that i'm super behind you.

cockpit ftw!

bye bye baby bye bye.

i handed in my resignation letter two days ago.
amidst all the chaos of securing a new job, trying to find the right words to say, getting my resume in place -

i forgot why i wanted to leave in the first place.

today, i was rudely reminded. and a tiny glimmer of hope shined in my heart when i looked at you. i just have had enough - and i know you could see it in my heart.

in September, I'll will be starting at the spanking new place which wants me bad enough to pay me more, bend over backwards and accommodate my wants and demands.

i think change was something i needed.