fix you

when you try your best but you don't succeed
when you get what you want but not what you need
when you feel so tired but you can't sleep
stuck in reverse

today was a sad day.
it was raining. and it was gloomy. there were little stray raindrops going at my window sill.
the weather outside was frightful. inside not so delightful.

it was a mixture of things. from the call from shaun, to cancellation of plans, to the sad stories on tv to the incessant sound of the rain beating down on my windows.

when you love someone but it goes to waste
could it be worse?

and then that feeling of losing out in the field of dreams washes away from you. i sat there, engulfed by my sofa, thinking of everything that has happened in 2006. and i realised i'm utterly disappointed. in myself, my family, my love, my everything. it's some sort of impending heartache that is going to happen.

High up above or down below
when you're too in love to let it go

i tried. i tried so hard to let it go. i pushed and pulled and begged and tore. i tried. until today i realise that it's just not humanly possible to try any harder. it's just not right, it's not wrong, it's not anything. it's just emptiness. i wish i could take all we had and just shove it into your car and drive it over a pier. watch it bubble to the bottom and we'll just laugh and fall over like we use to.

but i can't. i'm sorry.

lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
and I will try to fix you