my sunday feeling is coming on over me

but with one more cigarette and i think i might.
till i get to put together,
well that old feeling can't get me right.
aqualung, my sunday feeling

spending time in the ecu is like a reality check.
just when you think you hit rock bottom and that your life is officially the worst, in enters sweet natalae (i think that's how you spell her name.)

with gab's situation not going too well, i was a panicking wreck on the verge of a breakdown. all she did was offer me a gummy bear.

natalae is from the philippines. she sits in the visitor's lounge with me sometimes, quietly at the corner. she sometimes reads the bible, sometimes she knits. most of the time, she's quiet. today, she saw me staring into space and she saw me and shaun fight.

"hey, do want a sweet?"

with that, i jerked out of the mess in my mind and took one. she asked me if i was fine, to that i answered what most people in a wreck would say to a stranger.

"i'm ok. thanks."

meeting her was, well, life changing. she asked me if i knew someone in ecu and i told her the gist about gab. she smiled, touched my hand and asked me to pray. then i realised she was here too.

natalae is hoping to be a PR in singapore. being born in the philippines, she can't. even if her dad is singaporean. he's been working hard to bring her over to singapore for 16 years. finally when she could come over and actually start becoming a PR, her dad is attacked by a gang somewhere. her mom, a filipino, is overwhelmed with sadness, she collapses and suffers a stroke.

her mom has been in ecu for 3 weeks, and in the hospital for 3 months. bills are piling and natalae has no means to pay for it. she has no family, no place to go.

she's staying in a student hostel now, and her dad left her nothing.

she smiled as i asked her what is she going to do.

"pray. Jesus never let me down."

i cynically laughed. Sometimes, i said, he plays around with you.

"no, he's taking care of things for someone else right now. he'll be back for me."

true faith? blind faith? i can't decide. but hearing her story, i was very touched. situation is not too bad for me. i make it seem like the whole world crashed on me. for her, it's literally like that now.

i hope she's ok. i'm looking forward to seeing her tml actually.



i know this is random, but i really need friends right now:
take my quiz, see if you really know me lar. do you know shit about karen?