only the devil fools with the best laid plans
coral, time travel
today, when i woke up, i had three things on my mind.
one cook.
i haven't cooked in months and i hate to cook when my family's at home. my dad will come and kaypoh and in the end take over my cooking. my mom will nag at the kitchen (which is very clean most of the time).
so i cooked. my bacon and veggie hearty heart soup. i stirred and i fried and i simmered. it was delish only because i worked my ass of for my soup.
two clean.
i fulfilled my hougang housewife dream and decided to clean. once i started with the kitchen clean up, came my bedroom floors. magiclean thank you for wet wipes. i ironed some clothes so i have uncrinkled clothes to wear the next week, i dusted my tv and table tops.
it was very, satisfying. to stand there in a disarray of sweat and matted hair to see the floor 'shink' back at you and your table tops free of grey matter.
three read.
I WILL CONQUER YOU!
time traveller's wife was neglected for three days now. i told myself i have to finish it by today so i can finally discuss it with kenneth. i've been dying to wikipedia it because kenneth says rachel mcadams and eric bana will be playing claire and henry in the movie. i've been fighting myself to do so many things!
so i propped my cushions, turned on my nightlight and decided to read the rest of the afternoon away.
cue hairspray's you can't stop the beat
shaun calls.
my heart races. should i answer it? i know it's the hols and that means he is free most of the time (he's a teacher, not a prepubescent boy. please, i can't even stand boys my age.). I also know if i meet him, it would mean the whole afternoon burnt at a movie or walking aimless in town.
hello?
shaun: hey, what are you up to today?
me: uh, i'm really sorry. i think i've got plans already.
shaun: oh, with?
me: reading.
shaun: reading?! huh? is that some caucasian man you picked up? like Ian Reading?
me: no, like book reading. i want to sit at home today and just read.
shaun: i feel like reading. mind company?
with that, we went to gab's to read.
just both of us, in the silence of gab's home. i saw the dust dance in the stream of sunlight that comes in in the late afternoon. it was quite pretty.
i managed to finish the book. it was a good finish, excellent book. one of the rare favourites outside of mitch albom.
after a few hours, just when we were about to leave for dinner, i realised it was the first time i've been to gab's since he passed away. the whole place was, cleaner than when he was around. there was a sad feeling, kind of the same one when you see an injured animal. a wasted feeling.
why we ended up there, well, shaun needed to get some deed from the house. i didn't think it was hard to be there, and honestly, it wasn't. the hardest part was leaving the house, shutting the door and hearing the familiar jingle of keys but seeing shaun locking up.
the house is shaun's now, or pending to be his. it's not concrete but shaun's planning to move in when it has been settled. it would be weird to, if we were still friends, to entertain the same people in the same house without gab.
as i shut the door and see the last glimmer of gab's purple wall between the crack of the door and the corridor, i felt really upset. upset that till today, i was not upset about him going. shaun saw the lines on my face and halted. he asked me if i left anything behind, inside the house?
part of me wanted to say, yeah gab. cheesy as it sounds, it was the truth. i shook my head and moved on. gab wouldn't want this, so i'm not going to give it to him.
if you were here gab, things would be perfect.
i always say i don't care, or that i'm ok.
it's something you would want me to say.
but sometimes, i think i'd rather not be ok.
