finally.

happy by ongaku ; deviantart

i'm allowed to have this.
i deserve this.
i'm finally here.

i don't care what anyone says - not that anyone has said anything.

i like it.
and i deserve it, i don't feel guilty about it.


circumstance is not allowing me to shout it on the mountain tops.


but fuck it, i'm happy. and no one can take it away from me.

and our hearts are on the everglow
deep inside we know it
everything's hanging on this moment

office politiks.

phew, the week is finally over.

i got my kicks at events this week. it's been too long since i've worked on an event.
it's been a long time since the office went out for an entire day, running errands being polite and utterly refreshing to the media and just being PR practicioners.

so the event was held at halia resturant at botanical gardens. have to say food was uber good. decor, very nice, very atas. i liked the service as well. but to top it all off, we had awesome dessert and tea provided for us (yes, the slaves are now the master!)

and to celebrate my new polaroid, i introduce to you - imsg:

so, l to r: mel, me, dean, shou, lynda, ian.

and the boys ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. the ting tings present dean the hamsem and ian the attracted to hamsem.

the struggling part timers of imsg. unite!

my cute as a button boss. product placement somemore.

the girls. me and lynda and mel :)

ah!

poker night polaroids coming up soon.
everytime i click my camera, its 2.80

if i was a rich girl,
nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nahhhh

saving for the weekend.

shut up and let me go
oh this i tell you so

ugh. i'm allowed one sentence to gripe about the fiasco right?
"i cannot believe you would put an image of him at the expense of his own true self just to protect yourself within your friends AND (this counts as one sentence, ok) i hope he not only gets logical about it but have the guts to break your heart AND make you hurt in places you thought you could never hurt."

there.

now on to happier things!

FRIDAY
besides kind of lazing around at home, i managed to go down town to get some essay brainstorming done. but the highlight of the day is poker!
this time sans sebby, shu hua and victor, the rest of us met for our friday indulgence. and this time saw higher stakes at the table with less people more rounds being played and much much more taunting.

but besides that, i made history by winning my first dollar at poker. excellent! a dollar is not bad relative to losing five last week ok.

it's all relative one.

and please, someone help me find a poker name. the group has awesome names for each one except me. one website has christened me karen "skankwhore" wong, which is really not optimum for a poker name. and it cannot be normal like "danger" or "the slick" because i'm just not normal.

just for sampling sake, here's the rest:

kenneth "buay" soo

matthew "money" loong

ian "tang tang tang TANG!" (as in the sound you'll hear before you burst into flames)

merlynn tong "all the way"

see how karen "skankwhore" just doesn't cut it?

SATURDAY
met with a friend at dempsey for a quiet tea. dempsey in the afternoon is seriously a gem. not much crowd, ample parking and just away from the noise and bustle of the city.

after which i headed down to east coast for janice's surprise! ok, i came late for the surprise part, when i got there, she like already knew. but it was excellent food for the night, with excellent company.

the funniest part, was the bbq ended at like 9pm and everyone was kinda going home already. it's the earliest time i have gone home from a party in ages.

i reached my doorstop at 1am and my dad looked at me with utter shock.

dad: "how come you are back so early?"
me: "oh the bbq ended already loh."
dad: "why your party so unhappening?"
me: "wah lau, you see me no up lah dad. it was janice's birthday-"
dad: "oh janice's party? no wonder so early, older people cannot party till late one."
no offence janice, my dad is 60, he doesn't really have the right to call you old. youth is a state of mind! in my state of mind, you will always be 16 :)

my dad, now the philosopher.

SUNDAY
besides the mandatory church and lunch, i skipped practice to do my knncb essay instead. i was stuck at 1000 words when henry called me.

the rest, lets just say is history.

besides the fact that i stressed i had an essay due tmrw, and i didn't want to go far, he drove me to rochester for drinks at 2pm in the afternoon. what kind of friend is this? my mental state of mind was clearly in need of some caffine and not spirit of any kind.

anyway, the situation is taken its toll. cryptic message for those who know what i am talking about.

that rounds up my weekend.
i am totally not looking forward to this week.
mainly because there is no solid plans.

with particular people.

new urban male.

ok, supremely girly and uncomfortable entry coming up - it's about men.

i suddenly remembered a rather awkward situation when i saw this on nip/tuck:



well, cheers to late night tv.
ok on with the story.

me and merlynn were at heeren yesterday, shopping for her brother's present. she said she wanted something stupid and quirky instead of useful and serious. so i suggested new urban male.

you know, at new urban male, the good looking staff are ubiquitous. you have to have the tanned, muscle defined, chiseled men-staff walking around in their singlets and shorts and havanias eagerly serving you.

i've never had anything bad or good to say about new urban male... until yesterday.

mer decided to get a singlet that says "wakeboarding" for her brother, a sport he has gained interest in. we couldn't find the size so we approached "mr. singapore".

now, mr. singapore had mid length wavy hair, much like a korean heartthrob. He also had the eyes of a sad poet and the body of a greek god. couple that with the personality of saint and there you have mr. singapore. he walked around looking gingerly for the t-shirt and the right size for us.

we just stood there, oblivious that both of us were thinking the same thing - "come to mama."

finally, mr. singapore came back with one size smaller than we wanted. as he apologised, we realised we were standing in front of a store room, get this, chock full of the new urban male staff.

that's where we both start to panic.

mer:"so, no size? my BROTHER (stressed on the word) should be an XL.
mr. singapore: "i'm wearing L. Is he this big?"
cue karen breaking into ridiculous giggle
mer: "uh, i think can la hor?"

over hearing our conversation, mr. tight tee, comes in to save the day. mr tight tee (tt) has a certain smoldering quality about him. dark, quite tall, rugged, articulate, with a goatee, oh and the body of a swimmer who is also a nympho. hello, mr. tt!

mr. tt: "actually, we have an XL guy here, toshi? Where's toshi?"
me: "oh my god, mr XL merlynn."
mer: "oh my god."
mr. tt: "he's out for a smoke i think. oh well, no mr. XL."

mer: "it's ok, i'll just take this then."
me: "what's the stringy thing on the singlet for."
mr singapore: "oh, its for when you go beach parties, you wanna take off your shirt, you can sling it like this."
mer: "oh, no kinky reason?"
mr. tt: "well, you can hook girls with it at parties."

now, mr. tt goes over to mr. singapore and proceeds to fake dance/hump and 'hook' each other.

hawwwwt.

then, we proceeded to pay at the counter when mr. braces helped us with our payment. mr. braces is every school girl's fantasy. you know how when we all were young (girls for this one only), we liked the kinda of cute, kinda of awkward, plays football and tennis and shy about his looks guy. i present mr. braces.

and i leaned over and whispered to mer,

"are you totally freaking out cos of the nice, good looking men here?"

to which mer replied,

"oh my god, yes. my ass is sweating."


as we walked out, we gushed about them like horny catholic girls.
and sadly,

we didn't see toshi, mr. XL :(
come on, toshi!

we both love

best friends and their shoes by oberstisgod

what others only read of,
what others only read of, the love that i love

you and i both, jason mraz.

note: the person i am referring to in this post is not the same as before. i might be nice, but not flippant. the person in the previous post will never be mentioned again. not in this blog, not from my lips.

last night,
i felt like my body was in cardiac arrest.

this morning,
i felt the world came crashing down on me, and that i couldn't do without.

this afternoon,
i felt the weight of the situation.

tonight,
you made me feel like we're invincible.


thank you, it's because of you, i have something to treasure and think about.
and because of you, i know that the word 'best friend' is not the highest platonic level people can reach.

there are best friends, and then there's us.


it will always be us. always.

never to be seen again by vampire zombie

There are lessons in defeat
But were dead from the waist down
We are sleeping on our feet
We stole the songs from birds in trees
Bought our time on easy street
Now our paths they never meet
We chose to court and flatter greed, ego disposability
I caught a glimpse, and its not me

dead from the waist down, catatonia

i thought i could accept you for who you are.
but then again, i never thought you were like this.

i am disappointed in you.
and i'm hate you. with much gusto.

of everyone, including "the previous one", i loathe you the most.

you disgust me, you make me want to walk away.
how can i bring myself to feel this way?

because you did.
you chose self-satisfaction over morals.
pleasure over pain
wrong over obvious right.



i just cannot bring myself to be near you, sorry.
and goodbye.

they call me quiet girl

but i'm a riot

i super love the ting tings. awesome.
hooked on uber dance music now, from discoboys.
the indie girl in me roundhouse kicked mainstream girl and she's out, with her electric blue tights and all.

ha.

lomo II - 17 May 08

these are my most recent lomo shots, i've been quite happy with the outcome but getting tad bored. shall experiment with more colour flash.
one of the rolls got a little overlapped, people liked it but i beg to differ. boo.

ah, peranakan museum with merlynn, shopping with kenneth and lazy movie night with russ and kenneth.

that's what saturdays are meant to be like. :)