we were friends since we were six, longer than most of my friends today. you were at every birthday party, never forgot any important dates, you were my partner for 2 years in a row, for PE we were always a tag team and in class, we were the deragned duo who never stopped throwing paper at domi and anne.
its been years since we shared a bowl of campbell marcaroni and lined up for your seaweed chicken 3mins before the bell rang. its been too long since we sat down and had a decent conversation. you disappeared from my life and i from yours but somehow you were always at the back of my mind. you were always the tall friend, who every teacher called cassandra (which you hated) and who was the first to be subjected to phoebe's presents that were wrapped in layers and layers of newspaper. you never complained about it being so small or being so cheap. you always smiled that we remembered.
we were at other's birthday and we would come over all the time. remember pierre? i knew about him first and you knew about mikeal first too.
we use to run out of the swimming pool and sit in the sauna for 5 mins before jumping back into the pool. we would take turns to fart in the jaccuzi just to see if our bubbles could be seen amongst all the other bubbles.
remember your calf exercises which you did every day so your legs will be toned? the tip toe tip toe one. i still think it was bullshit. you were always picked on at assembly because you were so freakishly tall. and also because you were always talking.
we went to china together, shared a room. we wondered if a chinese murderer was lurking in the back of the curtains. we scaled the great wall and walked tiananmen together. we sneaked past teachers late at night to stay at chelsea and phoebe's.
we felt so adultish.
i remember your turtles which grew to a mutant size. how you would feed them so much and they would grow and you refuse to believe that you were behind their massive growth. i remembered i cried when i couldn't go to your slumber party and how i called and talked to you for 3 hours ranting about how i wanted my parents to die. you convinced me they deserved a worst death by living with ME for another 40 years or so. i laughed so hard that night.
i'm terrified i won't be able to laugh like that with you again.
liz, when you told me you were leaving, my heart sank. we haven't talked in 2 years since the prom. yet i can't get rid of this sinking feeling i have knowing you'll be leaving in 2 days. i will force myself to watch you walk through those doors and not turn back to singapore. only because for everything we've been through, this is probably the hardest thing i will have to do. let you go.
i feel like i'm making up for lost time. but yet there's not enough. there's just no time left for us and i don't want you to go. This horrible feeling. its like losing a loved one. no, it is losing a loved one.
i love you elizabeth cassandra nath. NZ is only like a gazillion miles away. nothing can beat our gazillion years of friendship and gazillion fats we share.
i still don't want you to go.
