//cause' you're a god and i am not//

nick matthew chia is officially my guitar legend/god/worshipee/sexpot.
his gig at zombie was crazy awesome. their style of music was 80's glam rock - think motley crew, p.o.d and guns and roses'

wah lau eh. he was smokin' on stage getting 4 solos outta 6 songs. he rocked that semi-stage. slingshot (his band) was overall great too. the lead singer was amazingly strong. the crowd was worked up. not the same for the other groups. indeed this time they saved the best for last.

so final attendence was: kenneth, char, me, felix plus one, emily sorry girls and me, he is taken, ade and her friends and plus plus plus. the whole club was mad when the band went up. kudos to slingshot. whoar, nick is hot.


band-tastic




nick my chapalang guitarist


nick's biggest groupies. literally.


ah the moment with the fhot one.


char, em and me


me and miss purple.

"i remember youuuuu" croons the groupie.

//has he woken up yet?//


today there was a funny exchange at the office.

hotguy: "he said don't forget to take photos of the chicks!"
perv: "and you took offence to that?! what are u? a woman?"
hotguy: "no i'm most certainly not a woman. i can show you my nads ok."
perv: "dude, i might be horny but i'm totally straight and narrow."
hotguy: "he still said chicks."
perv: "so you don't have a feminist bone in your booty?"
boss: "maybe he's just scared of bird flu."

the whole office rolled out laughing. this started a whole series of exhanges.

porky: "i like the handphone dingly dangly. lend me can?" (note porky doesn't not know chinese)
prettygirl: "haiyo, so ma fan you!"
porky: "ma fan? is that like cow rice?"
prettygirl: "for a non-chinese man, you sure know your chinese hor."

a while later.

porky hangs handphone ornament on his ear.

porky: "nice not huh?"
boss: "you look like a fruitcake."
porky: "eh, does that mean i'm yummy?"
boss: "no, it means you probably have some form of alcohol in your being, you got nuts and you are at every wedding."

cue office laughter.

i swear it's getting better everyday.

//ecstasy in my bedroom//

staying over at rus' place that night was almost magical.
since his parents were tucked away in shanghai.
so it was all hell break very very loose at oxford road kentish green with the orignal cast of kittylitter.inc

first, it was wrestling around in bed. Then it was dancing in the moonlight.
then it was just gossiping about everything and anything.
but the best part was the freedom that was laid upon our heads.

freedom!

i fell asleep at 4 to the sounds of crooning tim mcgraw.
then i woke up and saw this:


see the smile on his face?


good ah, abang!

i love you to the end of the world abangs.
i think i might die without the three of you.

nick matthews - the chapalang guitarist
is performing at Zombie (Orchard Tower, opp Forum)
on 28th Apr @ 9 ish.
With his band Slingshot.

//change is good//

work was insane today.

first i missed the bus. my last only i-will-not-be-late bus.
so i spent money on the taxi.

then i realised i had an event at 3pm to do and i would have no time for lunch
so i ordered in.
someone ate my beehoon. poot.

then came 1:30 also known as time to get cranking on the press kits.
i printed and printed and staples and got paper cuts to get press kits ready.
i proof read and wrote names for a the longest hour of my life.

then my boss said: "karen, we need you to stay in cause there's a client coming in and we need you to brief them about the media plan." gawd no gawd.

and so i starved till 5pm because i couldn't leave cause the goddam client was an hour late!
finally she came in her prada stilletos and gucci handbag. i thought whether her boobs were real during the briefing.
after about 30 mins, she said she had another appointment she could not be late for (i thought dr. woffles wu) and left.

so at 530pm, i was alone in the office, starved like a hibernating bear. so i did what my personal trainer will kill me for:
mcdonalds' delivery.

i swear it was the most orgasmic nuggets i had. from the time i woke till 630pm, that was the only thing i had.
i left for the gym. woopee.

what's going on with you

//they always standin' next to me//


got this from jule's friend's blog.

this reminds me of desmond and me.
and it's an insult to the both of us.

make you work

//undress the rest.//



the final installment of karen's debut photography exhibition: the explotation of a friend.


yes it is none other than the love of my life in 2027, russ. haha.

it was a normal morning. until joe augustine calls me and says: "so karen tell me more about your friend russell."
oh yes baby. i sent in an sms a week ago about how russ is so lazy and can't wake up no matter what u do. and they really like it so after probing further, they said: "ok! we'll give him a wake up call."

so mins later, this plays on air.

J: Hello, is this Png Gabriel Russell?
R: eh, ya.
J: this is Lai from Jurong Island.
R: eh... ya. (obviously not awake)
J: There's a valve that went missing. and we looked at the security tapes and you were seen playing with it.
R: eh. okie. (silence)
J: are you free for questioning?
R: eh i got driving.
J: did you pay for you driving using the money you got from selling the valve?!
R: no! no! no!
J: russell, do you know what is happening?
R: eh...
J: this is joe augustine from power 98! and you've just been punked!
R: am i on air?!
J: yeah! and your friend karen-
R: UGGGGGGHHHHHH! OH NOOOOO!

oh bite me.

//hey leonardo//

//hearing aid: blessid union of souls

i spent the whole day reading about da vinci code and angels and demons and all that dan brown nonsense. apparently, both parties have a strong case against christianty and all it holds. i'm not swayed by anything he says such as what the last supper is suppose to be and all... but it did make me question a few undeniable things.

sidenote: i still love Jesus ok. poot.

so it seems there's a wife of Jesus and low-and-behold! it's Mary of Magdalene - probably the only other female mentioned with Jesus in the bible besides his mother and her kakis. i scrutised the whole last supper painting. and here's what the book claims.

- the figure to the right of Jesus is supposedly his wife though the catholics still say it's none other than john.
- the figure of Jesus, mary of magdalene and the other guy she's leaning on makes a letter M = mary of magdalene!!!! whoar.
- there's no chalice that is supposed to hold Jesus's sacred blood so his blood is running where? why of course! mary magdalene.
- Jesus has kids! two girls and a boy. after his death, mary (m) moved to Gaul and she was dissolved into a french dynasty. which still has descendents today.

whoa.

i was pretty scared. for one, it was during office hours i should be doing work. two, it was a lot of info that i was taking in. and three, bloody thunder.

but then, i realised that what ever the webbie said did not sway me. i still believe in him and his chasity and his death and his rising. i don't believe that he married mary magdalene (tho kudos to her for sticking through with him) and had kids with her. i still love him and want to one day see him.

dan brown though is a great writer. the way he twisted the story was remarkable. and i think audrey tatou fits the bill of sophie oh so yummily.

thank you for the cross. thank you for the nail-pierced hands.

//who's your daddy.//

i present: the new age nazis.



yes one of them is my best friend.

//shame on you.//


have you read the papers today? well, you should. be prepared though, for the beast.

if you had, like me, you would have probably read about the man who married 10 women, had 66 kids and raped his daughters because his religious literature told him to.

beast. i hope you get raped in jail. shame on you.

religion aside, because i'm not racist or against any religion, i am disgusted with the kind of atrocity human beings are capable of. it's scary to think that someone who is a leader of religion, a husband, a son, a father can do something like raping his daughters to satisfy his sexual urges. not as if 10 wives are not enough.

the worst part is that their mother's didn't even raise an alarm. they allowed this to happen to their own flesh and blood, their little baby girls. shame on you women, who are supressed and not breaking free of your inner chains.

//smack the pony//

what a way to end the day.

nothing like a brilliant british comedy.

i present central's newest addition to many of it's quality british comedies: the green wing. think british version of Scrubs.



it's pleasantly funny with the quirkiest characters ever portrayed on tv. there's an overly-sex-charged doctor, a surgeon who dances to the beat of the heart-rate-monitor. the x-ray specialist who tried to x-ray his own dick to see if it's "dislocated". it's so witty, so clever and oh-so-sinful as well.

quote of the episode:
"next to her name was consultant radiologist. only "ONS" and "LTA" were cancelled."
"but why would anyone need a c-....oh."


amazingly stuff.

the green wing shows on central on tuesdays at 11pm.

//stay on the road to you heart//



i'm so sorry but i found this.
it's a once in a lifetime thing.
it's so his colour ain't it?

//cure the lepers in your head//

hearing aid: one - bono featuring mary j blige

it's been a slow day. i read the papers to see constance chee sentenced to only 13 yrs imprisonment for hurling little 4 year old Sindee to her death last october.

one hand says she's psychotic, she has mental issues. she was used by her pimp boyfriend. she should be sympathized with.
one hand says bullocks. she hurled a little helpless girl down a block of flats. a little girl who had absolutely nothing to do with her or her life.

i'm quite torn right now.

as i sat in the car, i closed my eyes to listen to raindrops on the window. all i heard was how 3 iraqis dressing up as women to blow up a mosque killing 71 people and injuring 140 innocent others.
on top of how thaksin's life is in peril since his people are all against him.
and how nepal has shut down all their telecommunications to stop a riot against their king.

what is this world coming to?

a while ago, it was how wonderfully beautiful this world is with louis armstrong singing about his trees of green and red roses, and how john lennon's imagination made this world one big strawberry field. it was about living with and for one another and not living without.

it was about economical freedom, about watching cartoons that didn't make fun of anyone. it was about liberty, about mundane lives. it was about stability. now even singapore's politics, which is said to have a squeaky clean white image, is coming to an election which causes a lot of bad mouthing and questioning and bad bad english.

i think world war III has begun. we just don't know it yet.

look. there is war, there is unrest both political and economically, there is autocracy, there is anger, hate, there is racism, almost genocide. there are mothers crying for their sons, there are fathers crying for their daughters. there is rubble, guns and fire. there are prisoners of war.

how is that different from another war?

i'm grateful no doubt for living in a somewhat quiet and stable country. it's good that we have everything we need and more even. i am thankful for my roof above my head, the food i eat. i'm a healthy, fat cow who has one of the greenest pastures.

i can't help but to think about a little girl out there oppressed, hungry, dirty and orphaned.
or a little boy holding a rifle that's almost as tall as he is. he probably can reload a gun faster than any of our 100,000 NS boys.

they say the world started with a big bang. i hope it doesn't end with one too.

//i don't want another pretty face//

something really hilarious happened in the office today.

as usual, the soft hums of some chinese wang lee hom song would be floating in the air thanks to a certain chinese song buff, lenny. as lenny plays his tunes, the rest of us chinese would occasionally hum along to forever loooooooove and get happy to it.

all of us, except dean.

meet dean and he's not chinese (read: he does not understand what wang lee hom is singing.)

so like any morning, there it was. wang lee hom floating around the office and we all happily humming. dean was tap tap tapping away on his laptop, trying to sing to the words that are just so foreign to him.

lenny stands up to go to the loo, leaving his computer to do its own will. and so it changes: it plays some five for fighting song which oddly sounds like a chinese song in the beginning.

the next thing we hear is dean shooting straight up from his chair going: "I UNDERSTAND! I UNDERSTAND!"
we all naturally look at him in disbelief.

"understand what dean?" ask the pretty young thing called lynda.

"I UNDERSTAND CHINESE! I KNOW WHAT THAT FELLA IS SINGING!"

before this, i seriously thought he was joking. but when i looked at his face, it really looked like he was geniuely be given the gift of hearing tongues.

"um, dean it's a english song" says ex wkrz dj, shou.

"alamak. malu."

and exit dean.

//we're the young ones//

i decided to do something whimiscal.

Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle.
Say the following questions aloud, and press play.
Use the song titles that come up to answer each question.
NO CHEATING.

How does the world see me?
Unstoppable - the calling (yes i am unstoppable>

Will I have a happy life?
Rise and Fall - Craig David (shit, i am going to die broke and lonely)

What do people really think of me?
Tender - Blur (well, which one is it?)

Do people secretly lust after me?
Last Kiss - Pearl Jam

How can I make myself happy?
Love me - Collin Raye (how true.)

What should I do with my life?
Rock Your Body - Justin Timeberlake

Will I ever have children?
Don't Ask Me - Ok go. (avoidance is bliss)

What is some good advice for me?
Safer on the Outside - American Hi-Fi (ah, how true.)

What is my current theme song is?
Someone else's arms - Mae

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
2 steps Back - Craig David

What song will play at my funeral?
Soul - Matchbox 20. (yikes.)

What type of men/women do you like?
You Talk Way too Much - The Strokes (i like guys who can hold a conversation. ha)

What is my day going to be like?
Vertigo - U2

Why am I here?
Strong - Rafe (whoa.)

What will people remember me for?
Sand in my Shoes - Dido

What song will be stuck in my head tomorrow?
Iris - Goo Goo Doll

What will this year be all about?
All the things that i've done - The Killers. (hahahahahahahahahahaha!)

i think i'm going loco.

//ride with me.//

show me the money.

my wallet has been solicitating behind my back because i keep on losing money right before my eyes. none the wiser but i just keep on spending and spending.

i think i might have a disorder: toomuchmoolahphobia (also known as kachingnophobia) - fear of having too much money; sufferer over spends to poverty.

i need my pay. maybe if i work for 150 hours straight they might give me my month's pay in advance. i did work the hours.

//i can ask for directions.//

oh well.
there's no turning back.
no turning back at all.

it was a cold night. there was nothing to do. i sat there in an aircon bus
and he gave me two choices: go through with it or cower in fear.

he was hesitant at first, shaking his head saying: there has to another way.
why now, why not tomorrow, why not next week?

i'd be ok if it was later, he said. i'm not prepared.
he sat there with nothing between his silences, staring into the blank space.

i stood my ground, it was something i had to do
a rite of passage, a ritual.
and finally, it was time.

i got down the dingy steps and into the humid hot air i stood.
he held my hand till i cringed.
it's ok, he whispered. just promise me you'll be ok.

you'll be ok, i said. i wasn't really sure about me though.
the first step was terrible. i couldn't breathe much.
i saw the stares. but i did it.

each step was easier, then it got harder.
he held my hand tighter as we carried on.
i looked around and soaked the environment.

at last it was over.

my first walk through geylang was a blast. yes i walked through the smelly chee ko peks, all the horny 15-year-olds. it was breath-taking, a little scary. i was the only person with a uterus. and yes there were other girls there too. um well, girls with that something xtra'. probably cause' it was a saturday night at about 11-ish. that's high sex drive time.

i felt so violated la, even though no one tried to be funny. but desmond held my hand so tight, i nearly slapped him. nonetheless, he protected me, put on his snare face and grunt. haha.

it was fun, that walk through geylang. and no, i didn't eat beef kway teow/smelly toufu/frog leg porridge/tim sum/taohuay. eh i went there for what geyland is for. the girls baby.
but now i kinda regret i didn't grab a butt bite.

the new igallop commercial is the most unsuccessful rebranding exercise ever.