//i do, do you?//

spending a lazy saturday afternoon with merlynn provoked some thoughts.

at the gym, as usual with vasatham central on the tv and the treadmill going at 9.4 and the cross trainer at 5, we talked about marriage and kids.

do i really want kids in the future? i don't know. i thought of how i really wanted to live life like my uncle and aunty. married young, focused on the career. worked through marriage like a bulldozer and got 30,000 dollar per month income at the end of the day. without kids, i could take my career to the next level. i could work, come home to my hubby and curl up in the covers. have some hot sex without thinking if i am going to wake the kids and then go to work the next day and make magic.

i could rise in my career without worrying about whether i'll be neglecting the tyke at home or if i wouldn't be there to see her walk her first steps. i could use the time on weekends to be with the hubby and prolly i would be working anyway.

but i i have kids, i would look forward to coming home. to see that beautiful baby girl or see my son's new drawing at school where i and the hubby would be standing (i hope he draws stick figures so i would be thin) in front of a one-room house with birds in the air. i would enjoy the glowing skin at pregnancy and at the end of the day, i would have a powder fresh baby to oogle at. the hubby and i would spend the day at home teaching her how to say mama or papa.

we would grow closer as a family. strangers would tickle his chin and watch him coo. i'll be proud when he gets his first A and at his first performance.

as mer said: "if i can love someone that came out of someone else's vagina, i would love the one that comes out of mine more than ever."

i just don't know.