once upon a time, there was a baby boy called kenneth and he was curious on why his weener was so tiny. but then he named it excalibur and started scaring little girls. he became the legend he is today.
when he was young, he spoke british english. because he was concieved in england therefore he thinks he can drink tea and eat scones at 3 in the afternoon. his brother threatened young school boys in the courtyard and the family had to leave england so kenneth's dream of being born in a football stadium where newcastle plays was dashed. he was born in thomson medical centre.
as a child, he went to newton kindergarten. he wore pink and white checkered uniforms and blue shorts. he posed infront of a castle where balloons unrealistically floated behind him. he graduated from school.
during his young teenage years, he wore bata shoes and played soccer instead of studying his principal of accounts for his olevels. when his bata shoes gave him blisters, he took them off and got cuts instead. kenneth almost killed his science tuition teacher. he joined a band called song bow and became famous in kuo chuan pres sec school. he had fans and groupies who did not want to sleep with him.
after his olevels, kenneth decided to get a job. he was a
then a aunty at a mama shop convinced him to smoke. he was convinced.
as a young buddy poly student, kenneth thrived on compliments, gay teachers and cigarettes. he listened to emo songs about slitting your wrists and sitting on ice blocks and hanging yourself. he discovered yassin. his best friend saw his house for the first time. he ate his bangla meal. kenneth lived the high life and drank coffee from a nissin cup noodle cup. he played drums drunk in church on xmas. he found true love in a male counterpart.
as an adult, kenneth got drunk.
i love this man. i really don't know why. i know i do.
i think that's enough.
happy birthday my love.
