//in the middle of the night//

since my eye has not healed as i thought it would, i spent the day reading instead of looking at my computer and doing work. and boy did i get a good book

might i suggest this for your reading list:



a poignant tale of a young jew, elie wiesel (the author), who was sent to a concentration camp in WWII. it's so sad yet so grabbing. i cried more times then i did for david pelzer's 'the child called it'. the descriptive autobiography is more than just a compelling tale, but a voice and a cry for the world to stop and see what they are doing.

as we speak, genocide is happening in sudan. it happened in rhawanda and in serbia (yes the serbia in the worldcup) a mere decade ago when most of us were alive in singapore. it is still happening now in sudan, where tribes are being abolished with rifles and bayonets. children as young as 4 are gang raped by sick militants. young boys are randomly hacked to death. and children are the main targets as they are seen as the next generation.

after reading Night, i felt so helpless against the world. as war rages wilding behind me, i feel as though i was detached from the planet, that i was watching a movie or reading about somewhere else in the galaxy where violence is condoned. where hacking babies to death was a pastime.

it's a first book that i finished in one sitting. 5 hours and i was done. this book is for everyone who think that genocide and war doesn't concern them.

i thought so too.

//eye sore//

stuck at home for 3 days of mc is damn good and relaxing.
i forgot how it was to wake up at 1030 and laze around to oprah on teevee.

oh wait, i still do.

because while my eye was gourging out, swollen and dischargy, i had to stare at the computer as much as i could and do office work instead of resting.

and because of that, the doc said the eye is still infected. oh well, i'm going to go to work tml and stare at my collegues in the eye. boo. eye infections are very very infectious mind you. little do many know, the infectious part is over within 12 hours. ha.

besides that, terence popped by for a bit despite of a ghana brazil match. wow, such sacrifices.
and he brought a huge choc cake. thanks for the sore throat. no really thanks.

and non-sequitur has been keeping me sane.

//kaiser//



germany is in da house! oh yeah.

oh yeah oh yeah

//maybe our love will catch like fire//



the pictures from the night when 4 almost to the brink of drunk got together.

































maybe a crazy thing will happen.

//beautiful.//

i was inspired by val's random tuesday.

(I) Seven random facts:
1) i have to work with the teevee or radio on or else i will experience incapacity to work
2) i find brands essence of chicken very yummy.
3) i always wear my pants with my left leg first, then grab hold of my table regardless of whether i got balance, and then in goes the right leg
4) before i shower, i stand infront of the bathroom mirror and make funny faces
5) one of my biggest regrets is not being spanish
6) i have to sleep with something against my back, be it a bolster, a wall or a boy. ha.
7) i already have a dream house. 268 holland road.

(II) Seven celebrity crushes:
1) RAUL. please please.
2) Jake Gyllenhaal
3) Dean Cain
4) Jonathan Ryes Meyers
5) any one, male or female, from so you think you can dance
6) keeping close to home - jessica liu
7) mel gibson ONLY in what women want.

(III) Seven qualities I want in a boy:
1) apple soup extradinaire
2) patient
3) confident
4) conversationalist
5) witty
6) tall and big
7) soft. at some times only

(IV) Seven things that scare me:
1) losing my mom, dad or brother suddenly
2) losing kittylitter.inc
3) being the last to die
4) having no money
5) being looked down upon
6) being second best
7) getting caught in general

(V) Seven things I like/love most:
1) that special one.
2) my family
3) the feeling when you wake up at 3am, and realise you got like 5 more hours to sleep
4) stepping into a air-conditioned place while you're in the hottest place ever
5) when you get into a comfortable position and all your muscles relax
6) cookies with hot chocolate
7) my kittylitter.

(VI) Seven things I plan to do before I die:
1) visit a middle eastern country

like egypt or jordan. i would love to see the beautiful white sand cities and bask in the glorious sun. heard from the boss that most hotels have roof top showers with ice cold water. whoar. shiok can.

2) bungee off victoria falls in africa

amazing views, water gushing down beside you. you leap and just let the wind take you downwards. can u imagine the adrenaline? whoar.

3) get married. umm.
4) have the capacity to do anything at anytime anywhere. that power.
5) live in a foreign land for a few years.

ideally it would be germany or new york. i still think i'm come running back to singapore.

6) buy my mom something extravagant. like out of the world. like an island or something.
7) have kids. heh.

(VII) Seven random songs at the moment:
1) time after time - eva cassidy
2) everything in it's time - corrine may
3) adrianne - the calling
4) kiss - the artist formerly known as prince
5) sweet dreams are made of these - eurhythmics
6) hips don't lie - shakira
7) one - Bono and Mary j. blige

time to hit the streets to MoS. woot.

//number 7s.//

when me and merlynn sat at cheesecake cafe last night with our truffles and chessecakes, we watched the portugal match with a lot of anticipation and longing.

cue merlynn - ardent supporter of portugal.

everytime cristiano ronaldo was close to scoring, she prayed. just because i let it slip out that he has a habit of throwing his jersey off when he scores. such a whor- hold that thought. i think raul might have the same effect on me.

so in the spirit of being shallow women and of the world cup, i went to search for some beautiful pictures of merlynn's sex god.



and whilst searching, i could not could not could not stop laughing at this.



so much for straight athletic men huh.

//ode to the lost//

i heard some stories about this.

broken friendships that once lasted for eons. i read about how friends just disappear into the thin air and how both parties just dissolved each other out of their lives. how once cannot-live-without-you relationships turn into pure concidences by the side of the road. where 3 weeks in advance shopping trips turn into sheer chance meetings at the great singapore sale.

and i'm so ashamed to say, i'm a player in that story.

reading char's blog about you, just brought back some horrible memories of why we became silent parts of each other's lives. it also reminded me of all the times we fell back laughing in your room. and it also reminded me of the times we decked in our sunday best and spent the lazy afternoons just basking in each other.

i miss you girl, but there's so much a friend can take. there's a limit on how much yearning a person can feel before they go completely numb. i would kill to see you in church again. i think if i could carry you all they way from where you live to church, i would.

it's not that i'm still mad at you. disappointment is too weak a word. anger is too strong. i'm in between hating you for leaving us for your passion and the proudness i have for you to finally reach that passion.

you are a beautiful and talented dancer. you have no idea how much pride i have when i tell my friends about how versatile you are, how many turns u can do and how much you mean to me. i guess if you can hang with your new friends, you could have the decency to come and say hi to us.

i understand that our friendship has come down to just sudden meetings at clubs and occasional thoughts of you passing through my mind. i have to say that i have come to terms with not having you around. just simply because you are not here anymore. you just disappeared from my life and all i have left are these sudden moments of you and our pictures.

i don't want to resort seeing you in pictures. i really really want to see you in flesh, moving and breathing. i'm sure char wants to be able to throw a bear hug at you. i'm positive that nick was beaming with pride when you waltzed in to his gig and i'm so sure that rus and nneth miss you from time to time.

after all that's said and done, there's just one more thing.

our friendship is not lost. but i think i might have lost you.

//sweet sixteen//

i tried. i really really tried. my internship started out wonderful.
a cute little company and everything i wanted i got.

now, it's just turned around.

every single day, it's been karen this karen that. i'm swamped with tons of work that i'm not suppose to know how to do because i'm a fucking student. i'm here to learn about my working life and learn about new things that they don't teach in school.

it's sad that people assume just because i can do one thing, i can do everything else.
teach me, tell me, let me learn. for the love of god and everything that is pure and true, let me make mistakes.
seriously, it's not the whole office, merely just one 'i think i'm ms hot shot walk around with her chanel perfume.'

i can't take her brutal insults, her jumping to conclusions and her inccesant comments about how i should know everything.
she's been in the bloody industry for like 20 years. 20 years of experience and hey, i commend that and most of all respect that she knows the most and can be a great pool of network and resource.

but no. she sees me as an incompetent child who cannot work for shit even though at the end of day i still give her what she wants. the things she wants me to do aren't even taught by my teachers in school, things you learn from experience and from working.

and most of all, she belittles and disrespects me to the bottom of what ever is the most bottom of. she treats me like i'm not there even though i stand 3 cm away from her. she talks to everyone with a cheery and boistrious tone but with me she snaps and is unforgiving.

i crave that acceptance and that whole shebang that she has with everyone. i don't understand why i'm the bane of her existance from the minute i stepped into the office.

i think i might have just found my downfall.

//sweet child of mine//

the steamboat was wonderful just because it's been a long time since all my bangs gathered and sat down for a meal. it was also wonderful because the food was fantastic, there was fondue and the company was a blast.

we also played this game which suspiciously sounds like a drinking game without the alcohol. it's called animal farm and it's all about rhythm and making funny animal noises. in an ode to my mother, i was a dragon. a mighty loud and boisterious one too.


like the backstreet boys only better.

today was spent groping in the office and the evening was with the ultimate merlynn. we walked to chinatown and decided to eat somewhere expensive. and along came yumcha. damn good food think: hot fish and century egg soup, crabmeat noodles, dimsum and chinese tea. mam mam.

we had the most wonderful time gossiping and exchanging love sop stories. i glad she's around.

we found the ode to ming zhu!



dude, where's my kueh.

//gracias amigo. deinarda.//

i usually watch the world cup. it's one of the only matches i watch from beginning to the end.
it use to be so difficult. watching men pass the ball from end to end.
all you see is a sea of green and random stips of colour. then final one glorious goal. and then you see the famous peter crouch robot dance. or pele's flip in the air. you see ronaldo's arms-stretched-out-eagle-style or piles of men on top another without hint of shame.

it's almost like a religion this beautiful game. you watch each foot gracefull tackle that ball. you hold your breath as the fingers of oliver kahn merely glaze across the ball at the most crucial moment. you scream and run around the house as the ball playfully bounces into the net as if you landed that moment in time.

another reason is of course, is my gorgoues spainish heartthrob.



oh deinarda baby. deinarda.

i have officially lost control.

/tell it like it is//

//hearing aid: as i lay me down

char's party was quite good. final attendence was me, mer, kev, mark, mark and new philip. (not to be confused with brader.) as usual, we hoped down got into the groove of things and one thing i found out about partying with the new group is that they are no stinger on drinks.

4 jugs - bourbon coke x 2, long island and something else.
cherry brandy
52 bomber
flaming lambos
vodka 7s x 2
bourbon coke (kev: one housepour please.)
gin tonics
plus plus.

the music was pretty decent but the club was like a sauna at a heartland community centre on sundays. it was packed, steaming hot (not in a good way), clothes being thrown all over the place much to some men's pleasure and worst of all they played the world cup match right on the dance floor on this big screen. wah that fierce what the fuck?

yes i peeked at the sweden match. but still people were dancing at the weirdest angles with their heads lifted to the screen as a form of salvation whilst their hands, still able to grope random bums at a lightning speed. amazing.

on top of that, the dj spoke too much for his own good. every time a new song came on, he felt compelled to give us a run down of the song lyrics coupled with a biodata of the artist as well as he take on bar top dancing and free water in the toilet. i cursed him so much i think he might have died of genital warts on the way home.

enough said.


the prep party


new friend. - philip


mark before drinks


mark after drinks


mark and the other philip


the 52 did something to u.




um.


haiyo. why like that again ah karen.

//euphoria//

after dinner at a fantastic teochew place, my uncle and aunty drove me, the brother and his girlfriend to one rochester.

i heard so much about this new place that i was half expecting it to be a flop. you know how a movie is so hyped up that when you finally watch it, it disappoints? well, in this case, the movie blew me clear off my seat.

tucked away on top of a hill, lies 3 old colonial houses that are transformed into a luscious city getaway. the place is breath-takingly beautiful. Set into the green surroundings, it almost transports you to a tropical paradise while you see singapore's concrete landscape just beyond the horizon.

the drinks were affordably good. we sat at this balcony which over looked the whole area. All i could see was lush green treetops and the warm auburn glow of the lights below us.

while i sipped my magarita (really strong) and my brother, his glass of chardonnay, the rest talked about life and love, truths and dares and some good advice from the two wisest richest relatives i know.

it was a wonderful night.


the lower deck where the seats are placed right in the heart of nature.


the library where there are no books but plenty of nooks to cuddle in.


where we sat amidst the clear night sky


click here for indulgence.


there is nothing wrong with being fat. cept' for the people around you.

//do the locomotion//

the week passed like wind. fast and without you noticing.
one minute it was monday and it's blues.
next it was tuesday and offically the hottie has become the waste.
wednesday came with mid week happiness
thursday was met with throngs of work
friday arrived with interim reports and final touch ups.

and here is saturday.
next week comes with gusto and somewhat unforseen circumstances.
with the huge aviva open coming, i can see me doing overtime like a poor burger joint high school kid.
overworked and under paid.

overworked. and severely under-the-ground-to-the-core-of-all-life under paid.