//hearing aid: last kiss - pearl jam

sentosa was ohmygawd amazing

so three of us, des, mer and me, set off on a one day exercise buffet at sentosa.
first i lost my wallet but then we found it again.

then we played frisbee for a while at the beach. amazing workout and we were pretty worn out for a bit.



then came the luge. the funnest thing ever. first let's conquer our fear of heights by sitting a 7 storey high chair lift.



the chairlift stopped half way and all of us swung to and fro for the longest 30 secs of my life. i was screaming, praying and the whole thing was swinging gayly in the wind.

but the whole fiasco was forgetten when we sat, the luge.
its like a go-cart but like 100 times more fun.


damn fun can.
it goes 70 km/h and you have to swerve and curve and go crazy.

then after do that a couple of times, we walked to mount imbiah to have dinner. subway was good, but messy as usual.
just as we were walking out, we saw the cutest bus. an open top vintage bus and of course we hopped on.




we were kids once again.

we then walked from the beginning of siloso beach to palawan just to bathe
but nonetheless good workout.
and the weather was perfect. not hot at all but windy and cloudy.
it rained only when we were showering and by the time that we came out, the rain stopped.
all the buses came on time and we hardly waited for anything.




its one of those perfect moments

the big one zero zero

yes it's the 100th post on this blog. (not that its a big deal but hey, i'm sentimental)

i decided that i want to marry chandler bing of friends.
he's smart(ish), funny, gentlemenly and i would allow him to puff away on his ciggarette.
but then again, if a man like him existed, he might be the bane of my existance.
he seems always free, he would sacrifice his ear drums for someone like janice (heh heh heeeeeeeeh)
he works in a multi national corporation and calculates the WENUS (weekily estimated nett usage statistics) and ANUS (annual nett usuage stats)

so basically, he's got a job, great friends, funny, sentimental, smokes, smart(ish) and has his own place.
he is like the perfect man


if all else fails, at least there's great sex with joey.

//hearing aid: swept away - christopher cross

Never had anything happen so fast took one look and I shattered like glass


i got:

- one gingerbread man thanks kris and gen
- one 'mating rituals' organizer thanks charlene
- one made from scratch fruit cake thanks ben
- one dart pen thanks gerard
- one diamonate pendant thanks a. margy
- one ipod shuffle and red leather case thanks kor
- one pair of havanas thanks a. yvonne
- one estee lauder makeup set and bag thanks vienna
- one brown straw bag thanks glenn
- one lipgloss and handphone pouch thanks jason and mel
- one star named after me thanks bran
- one ang pow with twenty bucks plus plus thanks raj
- one hundred bucks thanks mom and dad
- one thousand bucks thanks grandma

i love my grandma the mostest. yes i was shocked when she passed me the cheque.
please pray for me not to go on a shopping spree.

xmas was quiet this year. gigi's place with booze as usual, this time they bought food so no one got pissed drunk. but a few houses down the road was a snapshot of me and my gang a year ago. a few kids got wasted like we did. i guess its the age thing.

xmas day was spent with desmond and the family. we brought out shaun for a movie, king kong. Not bad but the movie was ruined by a crying kid infront, and when i say kid i mean like can't-even-walk-on-itself-own kid. and three pre-puberty-ish girls at the back of me that kept on asking why would anne darrell like the big nose man instead of the animal catcher guy.

despite everything, one thing was good: adrian brody.
iwanttomarryhisass.

pictures are coming up soon.

//hearing aid: all my life - kc and jojo

i promised to never fall in love with a stranger

i think it was one of the most romantic weddings i've been to.

imagine
walking down the aisle with your beau, hand in hand. rose petals along the floor, beautiful candle trees hang loosely alony where your tread. the lights are warm and dim, the stage in front of you lit with candles and island lights.
there are roses everywhere, KCI and JoJo playing in the background.
all my life, i pray for someone like you. and i pray that you feel the same way too

you see 800 of your closest. the whole room looks like it is on a passionate fire.
and the best part?
your best friend, your lover, your dearest is next to you. thinking the exact same thing.

i've been to many many weddings. but this one was so special. somehow, even though in the afternoon there were alot of hitches and bitches here and there, it turned out so magical, almost surreal.

and CL and HM look amazing together.
when i first met them, i didn't think much of them. as in, they looked so weird together. he was big and muscular, she was pale and to the skinnier side.

tonight, they looked so 'married'. bah.
i'm in one of those moods. where i think that i would say yes to any proposal.

the sweetest most mushy part of the wedding was when both CL and HM planned suprises for each other and of course the organizing committee knew about.

first CL's suprise video came up and HM's face changed. she watched the video in tears of either shock or utter disbelief.
then when we brought out HM's video after that as a counter suprise, CL burst out laughing and he hugged her so tightly, she could have deflated. they locked in an embrace for a good 30secs before CL shouted "that's why i love you!"

i cried.
oh well, i wasn't crying but more of welling ok.

my fairytale wedding is so clinche. yet so satisfying.

//hearing aid: as i lay me down - sophie hawkins

i run to meet you here. barefoot and barely breathing

my hair is good to me. i like it and apparently this time it likes me too.
val's hair is good but its not short anymore so i can't rub her spiked hair and make her irritated

here we are at ade's place. school's been bitchy but its better than before. i'm at ade's place trying to be hardworking but with her snake at one corner and val at the other, its hard.

met with kev today after months of not seeing my favourite toy boy. its been ages.
its nice to talk to someone who understand everything u say. and we of course went through the evening with plenty of dirty talk.

"how come your menu is wet? Am i touching mine the right way?"
"I can't cut through my cake, am i making it hard?"

i miss you kevin ho. and i'm glad we hung today.
we shall hang again.

then after all, i met val and pearl (pure chance) and we're now at ade's place. pfft.

pfft.

//hearing aid: still shiny happy people - moby

val looks famazing
so good that i got to have me some of that.

so i did.

watch me soon.

//hearing aid: shiny happy people - moby

Shiny happy people laughing meet me in the crowd

i like the clickity clack sound the keyboards make in mrm class.
that's probably the only reason why i'm blogging in class.

i'm sitting next to val whose gonna be bald in 3hours or so.
she might look like a rock star. or a celebant monk.
either way it's a good look.
if you are gonna turn out like you have headlights on your head, i might still like you

it seems like nothing happened much this year.
oh yes. mass comm happened.

who would have known me signing up 2 years ago for mass comm would mean throwing my social life out of the window.
if i was a freak show at a carnial, my tag would say:

"come one come all, look what mass comm spat out! its like moby dick, but only without moby."

shiny happy people holding hands

//hearing aid: that song on goldheart tvc

my tears are slowly melting, in your heart


renaissance latest by me.

fuck.

school reached a new high.


does anyone know the title of the song on the goldheart tvc?

//hearing aid: she's so high - tal bachman

I know where I belong and nothin's going to happen

all i can say about the week is:

ugh.

big fat ugh. pfft.
the crunch time has come. and i've got beautiful wisdom teeth sprouting like vegetation all over the place.
fonnying.

on the bright side, xmas is around the corner. everyone's being so happy and christmasy.
i ought to get into the mood. but somehow xmas is not the same.
no u. tommy this year.
no midnighting with the ching gang. or sorts.

pfft.

//hearing aid: wonderwall - oasis

I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now

i cannot believe this.

the people who mean so much to me
don't think i mean a lot to them.

all i asked was one night of you. come down, watch me perform. watch what i love doing, what my choir has to offer.
watch what i did every sunday, and experience the music.

but no. you couldn't

one of you just decided that it was beneath you to come watch me sing.
two of you decided to visit a relative when i wasn't there.
one of you lied to me just to get out of it
one of you forgot even though i reminded you the day before.
all of you don't have the decency to let me know before hand

i stood there at the performance, watching every single face, hoping it was someone i wanted to be there.
but no. NO ONE CAME.


all my friend's parents came.
russ, kenneth's and nick's parents where beaming with pride.
All their friends came. Some who didn't even want them to come made an effort to come and support them. some brought flowers, candies and chocs for their friends and families.
video taped them, snapshot them.


i stood there like an empty shell, the only one who could apprieciate me... was me.

//hearing aid: iris - goo goo dolls

and i'd give up forever to touch you



it was nice.
not crazy nice.
but sad nice. subtle nice.

i have this urge to get the soundtrack.
even though it was just the same melody playing in different beats and lyrics.
i like it. the whole flare.

love is merely a madness. was what hit me.

//hearin aid: here is gone - goo goo dolls

I thought I lost you somewhere but you were never really ever there at all

school's overwhelming like a leech who sticks on your skin and has a layer of fire retardant on it.
it just won't come off.

i went down one night stand after grandma's just to see if david's still performing there.
here is the part where my tv prod group is going to hate murder me in cold blood.

he left. like a month ago.
and my mom knew but it slipped her mind.

So after travelling from novena to clarke quay alone and very quietly as the phone radio is down, i reach to a generally empty club. After asking around, the manager came out said david's home in canada. it was heartbreaking...

only because i can see val and adel's face twitching with the uncomprehensable urge to take a chopstick and shove it up my nose. repeatedly.

(side note: adel i hope your nose is feeling less raw heh.)

... and i stood there in a slight state of shock. ok. i muttered.
do you have any other acts? i explained about tv prod.

oh yes, he laughed gleely. but he's not very good lah

ok. i just said my thanks and ran out to prepare to get killed.
but i got a plan B! but its not a solid one. heh.

i'm not going to be killed but just in alot of pain.

//hearing aid: stars - switchfoot

Maybe I've been the problem, maybe I'm the one to blame


latest by me

its been a horrid week so far.
from me being sick to rejection for going to a camp
to work piling up, the boyfriend and church crap.

everyone's got this preset notion that i'm wonder woman. i should/could/would do everything and anything

i hate it when people in my church come to me and ask me to do publicity/advertising/emcee-ing/posters/movie/radio commericals just because i study it in school

fuck off. i'm human. I AM STILL STUDYING IT. which probably translate to i'm no good at it yet.
Go ask my professional photographer brother to take the photos.
ask the paid do-for-a-living pro to do the publicity and advertising.
go ask the real DJ in church to do the fucking radio shit.

you guys have these vision. but don't forget me.
i'm only a student. i'm not some high paid slut slave for you to abuse and make use of as and when you wish.
you guys took the joy of going to church and actually helping people.

its just a bad bad time for me now. i wanna curl and die.
and you're not making it better

And maybe I'm overcast and maybe all my luck's washed down the drain

//hearing aid: iris - goo goo dolls.

the ex files

since i was still feeling sore about missing the vunderful weekend with the pimps, i decided to endulge myself into 4 more hours of sleep.
woke at 12 and missed church all together. pfft.
was feeling lousy in the afternoon so i decided to

grab the cousin and run down to ps to find an organizer for desmond
he needs to be organized. ha.

so off we went browsing through shop after shop.
you know guys and bose? yeah it happens. the cousin ran into the bose (or was it loewe?) and left me outside against the railing.

lo and behold.
i meet the ex.

he looks awful.
shan't say much. find out more from me.

we exchanged a few words and apparently, he's doing pretty while in the states.
i can't stand it, he looks like a girl.

just then the cousin walks out and has an extremely puzzled look on his face.
"where have i seen you before? OH! at makan session at the 3rd aunts? eh where did you go?"

i nearly died. yes i failed to tell the now no-longer-close cousin of mine the truth behind the whole saga
but
being 21 you should know.

despite all, the ex is still the suavest. he smiled and waved, flicked his hair and walked away.
i melted. into a puddle of cow mucus.
he has longer hair then me la

it has been like 2 years since we spoke and boy, has he changed.
and his new girlfriend, cowers in fear behind him.
look sweetheart, you should be ashamed. he ended up like this WHILE with you la.

I don't see the man i use to be with anymore. i think he died when i slapped him.
my cousin still doesn't get it. sheesh.

i guess its times like this i'm glad i didn't have to lie to be better off then the ex.

//seeing eye dog: america's sweethearts - teevee.

its funny how your name stands for opportunities and you gave me none.
you denied me of a space because i was sick. but recovered but not fast enough apparently
i hope you read the email, learn some human relations from it and not turn anyone away from your retreat again.
sister

because i couldn't go to the camp for some unforseen circumstances, i went out with desmond for the whole day. We went to sim lim. ok.
and then we went to cine where i rediscovered my love to GUNBOUND! ha.
then makan at jacks and now i'm home, doing my projects
having a room all to myself, the aircon at whichever temp i want, doing whatever whenever.

yes i'm just bitter but hell, i should make the most out of the situation.

i am not going back to your weekend. no, what if i fall ill again?

//hearing aid: into the round up - ocean's twelve ost


by lin xuanbin. my favourite piece to date

it just might be retribution. but then again.

i stuck at home with food poisioning and severe fatigue.
might as well, i could catch up on work. and sleep

there's just nothing in my head now besides throbbing pain

//hearing aid: dephazz - something


a kiss and a bite. i can't tell the difference.
kudos val & deviantart

she got the drift.

to someone who was at zouk with me last wednesday, the movies with me 2 weeks ago and 12 years of my life.

we were friends since we were six, longer than most of my friends today. you were at every birthday party, never forgot any important dates, you were my partner for 2 years in a row, for PE we were always a tag team and in class, we were the deragned duo who never stopped throwing paper at domi and anne.

its been years since we shared a bowl of campbell marcaroni and lined up for your seaweed chicken 3mins before the bell rang. its been too long since we sat down and had a decent conversation. you disappeared from my life and i from yours but somehow you were always at the back of my mind. you were always the tall friend, who every teacher called cassandra (which you hated) and who was the first to be subjected to phoebe's presents that were wrapped in layers and layers of newspaper. you never complained about it being so small or being so cheap. you always smiled that we remembered.

we were at other's birthday and we would come over all the time. remember pierre? i knew about him first and you knew about mikeal first too.

we use to run out of the swimming pool and sit in the sauna for 5 mins before jumping back into the pool. we would take turns to fart in the jaccuzi just to see if our bubbles could be seen amongst all the other bubbles.

remember your calf exercises which you did every day so your legs will be toned? the tip toe tip toe one. i still think it was bullshit. you were always picked on at assembly because you were so freakishly tall. and also because you were always talking.

we went to china together, shared a room. we wondered if a chinese murderer was lurking in the back of the curtains. we scaled the great wall and walked tiananmen together. we sneaked past teachers late at night to stay at chelsea and phoebe's.
we felt so adultish.

i remember your turtles which grew to a mutant size. how you would feed them so much and they would grow and you refuse to believe that you were behind their massive growth. i remembered i cried when i couldn't go to your slumber party and how i called and talked to you for 3 hours ranting about how i wanted my parents to die. you convinced me they deserved a worst death by living with ME for another 40 years or so. i laughed so hard that night.

i'm terrified i won't be able to laugh like that with you again.

liz, when you told me you were leaving, my heart sank. we haven't talked in 2 years since the prom. yet i can't get rid of this sinking feeling i have knowing you'll be leaving in 2 days. i will force myself to watch you walk through those doors and not turn back to singapore. only because for everything we've been through, this is probably the hardest thing i will have to do. let you go.

i feel like i'm making up for lost time. but yet there's not enough. there's just no time left for us and i don't want you to go. This horrible feeling. its like losing a loved one. no, it is losing a loved one.

i love you elizabeth cassandra nath. NZ is only like a gazillion miles away. nothing can beat our gazillion years of friendship and gazillion fats we share.



i still don't want you to go.

//hearing aid: let there be love - oasis



Who kicked a hole in the sky, so the heavens would cry over me?

zouk was fucking awesome. besides mr. groper who couldn't keep his hairy, scrawny hands to himself, things were good till i got high on ONE vodka.

no no, i'm a decent drinker, but rus's friend steven isn't a decent bartender. boo.
nonetheless we had fun, going mad with retro and rnb, yelling jumping humping romping. all that ever happens in a club.

i hate where i am now.
its a funny feeling when you're so up there and then a smallest thing happens to jolt you out of your happy place.
i sit here wondering if its just me or is there a fuge picture i'm missing.

you know when u feel that cringe when something happens to someone and not you. oh yes, jealousy
i feel jealous of people who think i'm perfectly secured with myself. i envy those who can't be bothered to care about the world around them.

rus said this to me that night while zouk was playing 'i heard a rumor' by bananarama.

"love is always greater then pride. if you put your pride over love, you're fucking screwed."
and i couldn't agree more.

i've been so happy these few days that i keep thinking something's coming up to screw me over. and all over again i'll be fucked.
i keep on thinking about every word muttered or everything that happens or that doesn't as an omen or a sign and
this brooding is tiring me out day after day especially
when school's being a bitch and when the teachers
think we're robots or fucking circles elephants
that can go on and on and on.
(wow. that's a effing long sentence)

i guess i got the cake. i just want the icing.

//hearing aid: lila - oasis


mr. green superhost made my day. and apparently val's too
nothing more, before val slaughters me.

shopping with desmond was quite a drag cos i just cannot stand sim lim square for some reason. i hate the untidyness and the lack of space in the mall. i cannot stand the bright neon blue and green lights at the shows. the million and one same things that everyone sells.

but nonetheless, i went. and he bought his headset.

then to buy his jeans, when i realised how darn skinny he is. i don't like u cos of that ok.

we had no where to go so we took a bus from bugis to tampines. slept the whole way through and somehow manage to squeeze time for a bite before his driving at four.

met val, adel and xb in town for a good dinner.
xb u do look butchy.

then tom yam goong for me and val.
the best thai flick.
omg. he's legs are jammed with speed and probably steriods.

a leader doesn't choose a situation, a situation chooses its leader.
well said, karen, well said.

zouk on the 23rd
china black one the 24th
liquid room on the 26th
china black on the 29th
dbl on the 1st
dxo on the 3rd
momo on the 3rd.

i'm gonna fuck myself penniless.

//seeing eye dog: i am sam on the tellie.

why isn't lucy coming home with me. she loves me and i love her.

i cried like four times already and its not even half way through the movie.
its one of those films that just reaches out and grabs you.
sean penn has become inspirational.
he's just so fucking good.


i'm just hope one day i will never have to see someone real to me make a decision that is as horrid as that.

all you need in love

//hearing aid: sometimes when we touch - dan hill

i'm just a another drifter, still trapped within my youth

my dad's favourite song sounds convienently gay. it came on in the car and he started "sometimes when we touch..." and i blurted out that it was suspicious like dan hill was singing to a guy. he glared at me in the rear view mirror.

"who taught you that?"
"taught me what?"
"homosexuality."
"um. school?"
"what? i pay 5k so you learn about gay people? what is the education coming to?!"

my mother, the life buoy, floats swiftly into the situation.

"haiya, its good she knows. Can you believe if she goes into a gay bar? she'll cry if she didn't know gay men exist."

thanks mom.

the car ride was filled with lesbian talk, gay sex (euwww) and the gay people in the workforce.
oh well, its one of those times when the family dares to speak about sex. and where me and my brother squirm.

speaking of cars, desmond's happily taking his license now. which is a big relief for me.
no more unable to eat at where i want to cos he needs to save moolah.
no more fussing over textbooks to buy.
more far-away places to go and explore once he can drive
no more excuses to not go anywhere.

i can't wait.

i really want to get my license, but i sort of see no need to do so now.
but seeing all my friends get their drive is getting to me.

sunflowers. where are they?

//hearing aid: i predict a riot - kaizer chiefs

i detest people who don't say thank you

i use to just take it that i'm the better person when it came to the ps and qs and not demand that people say them when they should. now i just think singaporeans are getting downright ungrateful and rude.

Case 1:
just the other day, i held a door for a lady who was a good distance away from me. i saw her coming and so i held the door for her.

happily, without a grin, she waltzes right past me and not with a single acknowledgement or anything.
NO NOD, NO SMILE, NO THANK YOU.

i just smiled and called out: "your welcome!".

she turned for a bit, startled as though i called out her name.
even then she just walked away puzzled.

Case 2:
getting fed up of people just being complacent, i went around doing a few more your welcomes and getting weird stares. oh come one, you never heard of your welcome?!

then finally i decided to push the envelope.

as usual, i held the door for a woman and she saunters right pass me.

"excuse me, you forgot something!"

"oh what?" she searches frantically in her bag

"your thank you." and i walked off

you need to learn how to apprieciate the people around you.
and bloody kindergarten kids are more polite then you.

ok. i shall not rant. i've got more impt things at hand.

shall we saatchi?

//hearing aid: hard to beat - hard-fi

Like a fist, can't resist you


karis afraid.

my brother's work.

//hearing aid: you'll be safe here - rivermaya

Nobody knows, just why we're here
Could it be fate, or random circumstance

i heard catholics are really bad people, is it true?

i heard this comment from a friend. it hurt a little that she thought or heard that people like me are bad. so i asked her if she thought i was bad and she said no.

i rest my case.

pearl's entry on religion spurred me to think. we catholics are being constantly under the eyes of the other demominations.
people ask me random questions and when we can't answer them, we aren't "true to the faith".

then my dear, can u answer all of religion's burning questions?

we believe in everything. saints, mother mary, jesus, angels. we believe that jesus came and went and will come again.
we believe in the holy trinity, the promises that God gave us.
so that's our difference.
we believe that whatever is here, is God.

it hurts me when people come up to me and say i shouldn't be catholic just because "we aren't as praise-worthy"
i hate people coming up to me and saying you still can be saved

i am catholic not satanic.

i don't need to stand up and raise my hands, look as if i am in a trance just so to praise Him.
i worship him softly and in my own time when i deem proper.
i pray to him when i'm alone. i sing to him in my heart.
i love God and will never forsake him.
even if i don't try to convert people.

many people say we should be more pro-active and get people to join the church.
i don't believe in that.
i say, lets concentrate on our souls, purifying it and making it whole.
rather than dragging people from the street to church.

i have so many christian friends who agree with me that there isn't much of a difference between them and me.
we have the same God. how different can it get?

crikes, i think i might get sued for this. haha oh well.
-

i spent the day at home and at holy cross for mass.
fr. jj is amazing at sermons.
it was about being selfish and not sharing your talents in ministry.
i had a sick satisfaction that i wasn't one of those
i should shoot myself.

the night was spent at mr prata with the youngest cousin.
he's grown so much since he came into my life.
gone are the days when i use to tease him about video games and toys.
we talked about politics, relationships and death.


the cousin shaun

then off to russ and ken. desmond, merlynn and nick joined.
home bound now. its good to be home.

put your heart, in my hands. you'll be safe here.

//hearing aid: you'll be safe here - rivermaya

close your eyes, wipe your tears, hold on. you'll be safe here

my sympathies and condolences to nick's family on the demise of your grandpa.
i'll pray for his soul. may his rest in peace.

i should have known
that 35 bucks for a dye job was too good to be true.
my hair has FOUR different highlights.
red, blonde, pink and brown/orange. not counting the black base.
i'm like every women in america. the blonde, the redhead and the brunette.

i'm happy for now
school's been kind to me. the projects sound promisingly bearable.
its been too long i've kinda lost my touch.
i kinda hate being in the situation i'm in. when i have to choose between my morals and my grades.
seem like an easy choice? nope.

he's special.
finally, desmond and me went out.
the plan was to just chow on cheap food and go home cos we have work to do.
but
we ended up having a expensive fantastic jap dinner
a long intelligent conversation over cake and coffee
and a long walk home together.
its nice to see him and still see the special spark in him.

i don't know what i like about him, i just know i do.

//hearing aid: bangras music.

ha. its so forbidden to type during class.

okie, as mr. bangras is talking about inspirational leaders like hitler and lky and all those fancy smashy people, i am here typing away oblivious to the fact that he might just come up to me, feel insulted that i actually said bangras music.

anyway, i'm kinda glad i'm back in school. sitting next to val and tammi, listening to adeline and her blabberings, finding out from val that indeed bird flu comes from birds, knowing that juan likes juicy contours, knowing liz has a button on her head...

its nice.

//hearing aid: beautiful mistake - rafe

hurry in my heart, her words are custom-made

with a death comes a new addition.

meet chole



she was adopted by an aunty (of sorts. we're complicated.) she's 2 and half, indonesian and speaks english like a one year old. well, she was just brought ia few weeks ago.

her tragic story is that her parents were killed in a militant attack in indonesia. she was rescued by a neighbour, together with her one year old brother, and later put in an orphanage.

her brother died about 10 months back.

my aunt was on a relief mission when she saw chole and at that time her brother. my aunt was so smitten by her, the min she got home she went about the adoption procedure. then finally, she's here. she giggles, she smiles, she never cries, she's got naturally curly hair.

her first english word was cookie. i just adore her.

other then that, my ears are nice now.

remember this?


after $2,300,



amazing what money can do.

thank you jules

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. karen
2. ren
3. nerak (just please don't ask.)

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. fatimah
2. ah muey
3. lyford. (just please don't ask)

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Eyes
2. Naturally straight hair
3. lips

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. fats
2. fats
3. fats

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. My grandma's scottish and thai
2. my grandpa's portuguese
3. my great-grandpa is dutch. (how come i'm so chinky?)

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. hospitals
2. noises
3. BIRDS - crows, pigeons, flamingos, emus. everything.

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. shampoo
2. cash
3. company

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. old 4/9 class shirt
2. girl boxers
3. plasters on my new ears.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
1. switchfoot
2. train
3. gorillaz

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:
Right now, it's got to be ...
1. Everything - Rafe
2. 24 - Switchfoot
3. Sunny came home - shawn colvin

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. reassurance
2. humor
3. speech.

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
1. i'm secretly lesbian
2. i've got every movie stub from the first movie i watched when i was 7.
3. i have to spend every single cent in my wallet to make me feel secure.

THREE THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. humor
2. senstivity
3. patience

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. sleeping
2. counting cash
3. raping my cousins. (please don't ask again.)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. pee
2. ask my brother if he smokes.
3. eat a cookie

THREE CAREERS YOU HAVE CONSIDERED:
1. newscaster in iraq
2. teacher
3. pr person

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. maldives
2. france
3. new york

THREE NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. kaelynn
2. karine
3. ray

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. get rich
2. get married
3. get out of here

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1. (like jules) i act like i have a dick
2. all my best friends are boys
3. they all are convinced i am one

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. i have a pussy
2. i whine
3. i wear girl clothes. i try la.

THREE MALE CELEB CRUSHES:
1. julian hee
2. that guy on las vegas
3. that guy on will and grace

THREE FEMALE CELEB CRUSHES:
1. elizabeth hurley
2. catherine zeta jones
3. liv tyler

//hearing aid: with or without you (live acoustic) - U2

i can live, with or without you

it was a sad yet uplifting ceremony. 9 of his closest set out on a small boat to the outskirts of singapore.
one of us held a bundle of immaculately white roses. one of us held his remains on her lap.

the weather cleared in time for his burial. he wanted to roam free in the air and sea. so we decided to scatter (as a promise to him) his ashes in the sea. his wife was too scattered there.

as the choppy waters rose, we stood on a tiny deck singing the first line of nearer my God to thee before slowly fading out because we simply and conveniently forgot the words.

hosea was a good song to sing considering we all knew the words.

then slowly, each of us picked a handful of him, threw it out and watch it sink into the green waters.
then we threw a rose each, as if to say farewell.

when i looked behind, i saw a sea of white rose petals on the surface, the most beautiful.
we said our final goodbyes to uncle tom and headed back to shore.


his final resting place.

then off to the granny's place for a long overdue family lunch where the most amazing thing happened to my dad.

he offered to pay for uncle tom's funeral. so he would sign the cheque infront of us and pass it to my mom.
he wrote everything ok till it got to the signature where he just simply couldn't sign
6 times. 6 cheques. till now nothing.
he said there was a force against him. funny?

besides that we all gathered as a family. long overdue.
what uncle tom broke apart, he mended back as a family.
he would be so proud.

then off to merlynns and meet desmond
your dog is massive merlynn.

we ate at brewrks. amazing food.
we didn't drink.
we went to the japanese supermarket without buying a single japanese item.
we bought all other stuff.

weird.

had a great talk with them at tcc.
its amazing to have such great friends who
u never really knew u had.

classic moment: to avoid desmond from colliding with on coming waiter, merlynn sticks out her hand and shouts: "come!"

yes i know, i am blessed.

so are u uncle tom.

actually, it's not that simple.

its not. this death thing.
you think before he goes, you want him to be happy and dead.
so that he would not have to suffer anymore.
so that we don't have to see him lying there rotting away.

but then it happens. when he does die.

you change your mind
you want him around you and the family
not in that brown coffin, well, dead.
and you want him out of the furnance
next to you.

its funny how we contridict ourselves. the whole funeral was a big joke to some.
how we stand there with tears on our cheeks
but telling ourselves he's in a better place

then your mind plays little tricks on you.
a little story plays out on what he is doing now in 'heaven'
what he must be eating
is there cigarettes and beer there for him
are his dogs (who died too) there with him.
is he decked in white and gold
like those movies we see.

is he clean shaven or his moustache still there? he never could decide which was a better look.
is he bloated like he is on earth or is he thin like he was suppose to be?
was the sky grey 'on purpose' today?
or were we looking too much into it?

i'm just relieved its over. the crying game has stopped.
my grandma deserves an award.

i wonder what's worst: losing a husband, a sister or a son.

maybe i'll ask grandma one day.
or maybe i'll know one day.

he is gone

Tommy Moreno Dragon
1955 - 2005

he is resting peacefully
Singapore Casket at Lavender
Crystal Room
from 6pm on 1st Nov to 2nd Nov (Tues - Wed)
Wake on the 3rd (Thurs)
Service at church of st. michaels
cremation at mandai.

dearly missed by the family.
taken home by the Lord.

sadly, i feel relieved.

//hearing aid: light in your eyes - blessid union of souls.

there's a light in your eyes
i saw it today.

if you thought a human being cannot possibly look as though he's been cooked inside out.
i thought he was bad yesterday.

but today he looked like he was dead.
but there was a glisten in his eyes. though it was half closed, i saw the tears in it.

he looked like someone poured acid all over him

he whole arm was covered in blotches of black. he was bleeding through the nose, mouth and ears.
his legs were dead because all the blood was in his stomach.
his lungs collapsed
his kidneys have failed
his stomach was pumping blood.
his left heart has failed.
his heart rate is 140 on average per min.
his arms are filled with boils and scabs

he's a living corpse.

my family broke down badly today.
they wanted to pull the plug.
but there was this hope.
i don't know.

i'm crying for a man i hardly know.
a man that never said more then 50 sentences in the whole 18years of my life.
a man that i almost despise and hate.
a man that caused so much heart ache for my family.
a man that deserved this.

but i still cry. i still feel a surge in my stomach.

i thought i'll never pray for someone to die.
but now i just want his heart to stop.

uncle tommy,
i sang to you today. i saw your eyes move. i saw the blood gushing out of your body. i was afraid.
please let go and let God.
you don't know what you are doing to the family.
my mother almost disowned her sister today.
my brother got slapped.
my cousin and me can't be in the same room as our mothers anymore.

please, just go home to your daddy. i'll be praying for u.

//hearing aid: hotel california - eagles

And still those voices are calling from far away
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say

i just read xiaxue's blog.

disclaimer: before u go off wanking to the fact that i read that hilariously pink, butterfried, photoshopped to cover her obvious physical flaws blog, i want to say that i CHANCED upon it while reading fanny's blog.

seems that little miss popular had two endorsements dropped like a hot potatoe.
why?
apparently, she insulted some random handicapped toilet user (HTU) thank you jules or something along that lines.
so no more nails and pretty hair for miss cheng hor.

well, a lot of people think its unfair, yada yada and that she has every right to use the handicapped toilets. heck i'm a major HTU. i dig those sinks in the toilet, the spacious area to do whatever vigorous activity needed to do in a toilet.
but i still think voxy and kimage shouldn't have even THOUGHT about using a kaWaii nEhx pinky and the bland kinda of girl for their image.

think kimage. you think high fashion. kick ass colors.
think xiaxue. think low class, shit ass pink color.
no match.

yes i think voxy and kimage were a little sensitive to drop her because of a remark made to a HTU.
but i'm secretly gloating to the fact that i don't have to walk past voxy and die of an overdose of pink and butterflies.

xiaxue? more like xia suay.

well, personally, i wouldn't endorse a girl who uses fucking vulgarities whenever she feels like, goes drinking all the time (all her photos have alcohol in it la) and uses her hand to measure a dick, who splashes her PSLE score of 269. go and 69 a cat or something.

but then, she is a bloglebirity. her blog gets more hits then bookwormbitches.com.
so maybe she does have an endurinn quality about her.

on second thought no.


taken from xiaxue.blogspot.com.

haha fugly

//hearing aid: where do broken hearts go - whitney houston

apparently, to God

my uncle's dying. his face has changed, his heart beat is so low.
he's on a respirator. he can only hear us now.

i sang him a song. amazing grace. slowly, tears formed at his eyes.
it's touch and go now. even more then before.

before this whole thing happened, he was at church praying and he said God came up to him and said:

"you are 29".

its the 29th today. and we're all praying like mad monks.
my grandma's getting weaker and weaker by the min. she can't even be in the same room as him now. she just watches him from the glass window.

"it's like when he was a baby in a crib. and i stand there watching him from a window, with tears down my face."

after everything, me, grandma and cousin, vienna went over to his place to get stuff for the funeral.
he's clothes, his picture, his emblems.

then there was suppose to be a girlfriend. who he was with for the longest time.
but she left. ever so carelessly and convienently.
he might just die of a broken heart. both physically and emotionally.

and i don't have anyone to go to.
my closest, i have driven away.
my one and only, ignoring me for whatever ridculous reason.
my family, hospitalized.
my God, far away.

and my ear hurts like fuck.

//seeing eye dog: the biggest loser on channel 5.

i thought i saw a pair of boobs on tv. but then it was just man tits.

my workplace spent millions of dollars on the renovations. but they can't even make the place waterproof.
yesterday, water was pouring in from the ceiling, the outdoor area was forcing water into the main resturant.
someone spilled chocolate on the floor so it looked like we were working in an inch of milo.

my shoes were all wet from the water, people were slipping randomly.
ohmygosh. but nonetheless it was fun to have a mini buffet after work too.
cheesecake, club sandwich, chicken rice, apple strudel.
mammam.

the operation was ok. i guess, it wasn't as bad as i thought.
the fucking injection was bloody painful.
but then everything else was a breeze. i felt nothing but heard everything. the sewing of the stiches, the cutting of the keloid.
eeyer.
my ear's fine now. but i don't know how it looks like. i have my keloid in a jar at home. its quite a sight.

last night, i had a one too many.

//hearing aid: ringing in my years.

it would have been so much better if you were there.

just got home from zouk's mambo night and power98 powerjam.
it was ohmyfuckinggourdawesomebeyondfuckinganything.

it was one of the best battle of the bands kinda things i've been for.
rafe opened the show. amazing shit. the classmate juan was bassing.


i am so proud of my gyrating, head bobbing juan.

and then came on the best rocking local bands. BARB took my socks away ok.
yes they won. amazing shit.
i want to hear them again. best orignal song.

unfortunately, the highlight wasn't as BOOM! as i thought. electrico wasn't much of an entertainment. rivermaya was awesome though.

and david from electrico made russ a very happy boy.


ran into bala, milkman, benghuat, captain, mel and shirlynn. great running out to zoukitiam and dancing to "oooooo square roomssss!" and "you're unbelievable!" haha. amazing shits.
ran into adel and weiming too and alicia and amanda. the whole world as there.
mambo night rocks like mad can.

if you only understood what i was feeling that night, you would feel twice as bad as i did.
but i guess i cannot force you to choose. i know i put you in a uncomfortable position.
i just wanted you to be near me. to be there for me.
but u needed to be there for someone else.
you missed a great party.
i missed a great friend.

ringgggggg.

//hearing aid: runaway train - soul asylum
this song is actually about children being sold off as slaves. read the lyrics and you'll realise it.


ghostly void.

getting your pay for three jobs at once is the 8th wonder and sin.
imagine, having almost 500 bucks to your expense.
cafe iguana was fabulous. my grilled chicken craving is gone.
but desmond got a little bit high and sick after the margaritas.

before that was at the hospital with my granny. we said prayer after prayer.
i saw fear in his eyes. a certain smell of death.
he was afraid. and he knew he was going to die.

"don't let me scare you karen. i already scare myself."
i cried today.
alone in the toilet. i was so sad for him.
i know i said he deserve it. i know i don't like him.

i still feel that way.
but deep down, i still wish he was the same uncle i knew.
i wish he would be around for christmas this year, and be late for the gathering, smoke up the whole room and leave early.
but the whole family knows he won't be.

wiping my tears, i walked back in to hear 3 doctors would like to talk to the family.
i offered to follow my grandma but my uncle needed someone to be there for him.

my granny came back teary eyes and told me to go and talk to the docs. she couldn't understand what they were saying.
just when i left, my godma got to them first.

till now, i still don't know what the matter was.
bottomline is he's still not gonna make it.

runaway train never coming back
one way ticket on a one way track.

i never liked him

he always had a sneaky look, dodgy eyes. cigarette in his hand. he always came late for family functions, leaving earlier and earlier as the years went by.

he always boast about how he got a new job only to lose it a few months later. he never gave his mother money, his nephews and nieces treats. he hates babies, asks people for money to buy cigarettes and booze. he married a sick woman knowing he couldn't pay her bills and begged my mom and his mom for money.

he never told us his life story. he never gave me a hug or wished me happy birthday in my life. he always ate, always smoked, always drank and always coughed.

he always wasn't there.

i don't like him. he reeks of failure and disgust. he smells of irresponsiblity and unkemptness. he has thick greasy hair, tall and thin, dark deepset eyes with a toothless sinister grin. he looks dirty, dark and tanned all the time, liver spotted.

but today, after years of short meaningless conversations, i found out that he was lying in a hospital, dying and slowly slipping into oblivion.

meet my uncle. the youngest of the dragon babies. he's 49, an ex-drug addict, a heavy 3 pack a day smoker, alcoholic and now, a man who is dying and calling for his mommy every min of the day.

it saddens me to see him lying on the bed, gasping for breath. the docs gave him a week or two if he's lucky, to live.

i watch the same eyes that gave him money to 'support' his habit (of cos unwillingly), the same eyes that now filled with tears of heartache and pain. her baby boy is dying. and its nothing she can do about it.

my grandma's the strongest woman alive. she dares not even go to the toilet. her wrinkled hand cups his hand ever so tightly, yet so gentle and meek. i watch her eyes fill with fresh stinging tears as she urges him to sleep, give him water to sip and watch her wipe those tears away when he cries in pain.

i know she knows he's going. but yet she has that strong belief and hope he will walk out of the hospital as fit as a bull.

my mom, the stern elder sister, never let my grandma cry in front of him.

"don't let him see you cry", she whispered to me and mama. "we don't want him to feel worse, do we?"
i look at my mom swallow her tears into the pit of her stomach, allow with desperation and anger.

i watch my godpa sigh and wonder if he hadn't stopped smoking a while back, would he be in that bed instead.
godma never cries. she never puts a stop that that jovial facade she puts on every day.
dad sits silently in the hallway. i know he's thinking about ah ma.
the brother comes late. solemn and quietly he stalks the corridoor.

then the images of my mom throwing the receipts of beer and cigarettes at the floor, the wrinkled face of my agonised grandma, the million and one different times he let the family down flashing through my mind.

sometimes i think he deserves it. but now, i think he's just doing his penence before he goes.

uncle tommy, its time u understood what we went through. all the times your family cried for you.
but you know we all forgive you.
and we know you are sorry.
from the pain written all over your face. and from the tears you cry every time we touch your hands.

i'm praying for you.
go home to Him.

go home.

//hearing aid: everything - rafe
(yes juan its on the radio)

i woke up fucked.
high fever and aches all over. i thought i had dengue.
but it turns out i was just exhausted from working. my legs were so sore that i had tears in my eyes when i limped to the toilet.

but nevermind, it means a day off for me and rest rest rest. hallelujah.


me and russ's achy 13 hour chiong master's feet.

i spent the day afternoon playing the sims, watching oprah and the drew carey show.
then pearl came over to watch tv.
then i went to meet puss and munch on sakae. buffet. finally, i was being served instead of serving.

then off to play pool.


my balls are better.

then desmond for supper. not after watching kinky anime on arts central. boo u arts central.
lets just say we succumbed.
haha.


peek-a-boo
he was in total shock.

well its back to work and back to squishy toes in my tight shoes.

oh yes does anyone know any organization that accepts clothes, food, medicine or water for the south asia earthquake? i want to donate but not money. the whole knf fiasco got me tainted.

let me rest, laid to sleep. but tomorrow breaks a new retreat.

//hearing aid: dare - gorillaz

Hold it down there

meet me the chiong master.

[edit]
choing master [noun] a person who is dumb enough to work 13 hours or more straight. work usually requires physical torture or brain juice. usually not both at a time.
eg karen is a chiong master because she worked 13 hours straight. it was pure physical torture.
[/edit]

i just got back from a 7am - 11pm shift at marina mandarin. boy oh boy.
i got blisters and abrasions. i got about $80 bucks for that.
standing up non-stop for 8 hours then another 5 after a 3 hour 'break'.
serving guest's every whim and fancy. serving toast after toast, cup of coffee after cup of coffee, breaking glass after glass. wearing heels and not being able to sit down and dangle my legs in the air.

me and russ were so shagged by the 8th hour, we nearly pushed each other into a busy intersection just to get the rest of the day off.
bernie has abrasions on his butt.
nabil's mind switched off today. because he's been a chiong master for 5 days straight.

its 7am - 3pm tomorrow.
and 7am - 3pm the day after.

i think i'll amputate my legs now.

stripperella

i was watching arts central innocently when a cartoon ass was plastered on the screen.

on came a loud laughter.
it is none other then lady clitoras

omg. its the the cartoon stripperella. its about a girl whose a stripper by day and a crime/grime fighter by night. hahaha!
fucking funny la... they've got testicular micophones, monkey's are humping on each other. its fucking stupid!

its voiced by pam anderson. what can u ask for?


its so trying to be erotic. it not even close to porn.

the plot's about this lady clitoras who is as ugly as an old pussy who wants to have sex with the typical blonde long haired latin lover. latin with blonde hair. baaa.
but because she's so gross, she had to kill everyone else so he will be so desperate and needy that he'll do her for hours and hours.
yeah stripperella comes in and tries to orgasam her way through it or something. oh with her nipple cutters.
fuck man. i spent the whole thing laughing my balls off.

haha stripperella. stan lee what have u become?

//hearing aid: numa numa song.

3 kinds of people i hate:

1. Arguing Couples.
all these young pre-puberty couples that argues smack in the middle of my way. can you not go home and then argue? why must you tell 101 people standing there that he bought a pink shirt that wasn't the same shade as your pink shirt? fuck! i mean come on, have some freaking sense. and then it all escalates to the girl hopping madly away in a direction and the boy rubbing his acned face, swearing and looking at his ex-pink flair skirt with light pink off shoulder top that has grammatically wrong phrases like you is my summer time memory. tomorrow's fanatsies will faded. crap la. it's worse when she starts throwing her arms in frustrations and hits ME square on the shoulder.

2. Primary school boys
omg. can u not look like you owned the friggin bus? they talk loudly, stand all over the place, hit you with their power rangers and transformers bags, eat and spit on the bus, fun around the bus like its fucking pasir ris park and shout FUCK YOU! in front of 10 other strangers all while wearing their smelly, sticky uniforms. i love kids, no doubt. but if my kid was to even think about shouting fuck you i will smack his/her face so hard she/he'll be fucked for life. i don't get it. why must you shout to your friend who is sitting like next to you? i mean its quite retarded to yell at your friend because your red tazan and jane water bottle is the same design as his blue donald duck notebook. Notice its only the boys, never the girls who shout. but the girls well, just need to keep the ah peks at bay and sit with their legs closed tightly. or get a chasity belt. [based on a true story]

secondary school kids who deserve a beating
the ones with the rebonded hair and fugly clips that look like they came out of big bird's pussy. they wear their school uniform, their yonex or crumpler bag and look decent from the neck down. the face. is a failure. hey some of them are pretty and good looking. but they spoil every once of beauty by splashing blusher on their cheeks, over doing it obviously and foundation and powder. you're in secondary school u dumbfucks. you don't need makeup. unless you look like an orange peel. then the hair decked in pink kaWaii clips from icelemontee and shops that i don't shop at. hair so straight it makes a lesbian cry. and the socks pulled so high that you think it might snow. then along them tags a geek or two, bowing to these girls every need and fancy, every whine and teh. eh, i see them and i stare in awe. and if they ask, eh what you looking at, i'll just say : "you, you fucking freak of nature."

fuck. i hate more people. the goth kids who think their constantine, the ah lians who think their japanese kids, the annoying parents who think just because they have kids gives them the right to everything around them.

another time.

//hearing aid: hard to beat - hard-fi

marina mandarin's new spanking coffeehouse international resturant is fucking awesomely goregous and huge. the latter does not work in my favour.

brassire tatler Aquamarine is goregous. although the new logo looks like two weak sperms swimming in the wrong direction.

the placemats look like turquoise tree barks. i said that and vic scolded me saying they were from louie vuitton and cost 200 bucks a piece. fuck you man! save on the placemats and give the staff a raise.

the uniform is another sad thing all together. as if i wasn't vertically challenged enough, everything is higher, taller and bigger. except the uniform. the top's too short, the skirt's too long and the vest's too short. so all in all i looked like an overgrown muffin.

but work was fun. besides the egg-headed bald man who kept asking for ice water without ice. then its just cold water you dumbfuck. and tell me u don't want ice before i pour ice into your dingy glass. sheesh.

everyone seemed to be in a spanking mood so i guess it's back to business at aquamarine.

eh i would love to promote the place but its fucking expensive. the dinner buffet is 48+++. however, the food. ohmyorgasmic. haha new chef = new food.

i look like a muffin.

//hearing aid: cool - gwen stefani.

i just realised how fucking lucky i am.
met bran a while ago and we sat down at my void deck talking about stuff happening around the world.
he said back in US, brad is getting analed by his very good school (i am smart) about that scandalous charges.
apparently, there's an elite school in america which is boy-dominant and the boys have been raping girl students there for 10 over years.
brad's in the school and he's retained for the sem. no no he didn't do it. just that as a precaution, the whole campus got to be retained.

from the earthquake in india, the bombings in bali, the bird flu in turkey, bran thinks singapore's a fucking lucky piece of island.
[edit] sheltered from the fucks of the earth [/edit]

i couldn't agree more. while people all over the world have to worry about rebuilding a nation and tracking down terrorists, we have to worrying about those bleedin' mozzies.

bran's dad works in the US gov. bran says he comes home with more papers then he had left with in the morning. a few days back when i asked his dad what working for the government was like, he sighed and said "apparently, you don't work for them, you slave for them."

hey but he enjoys the job.

while bran was talking about the world finally come to an end... some houdini theory or something, i was thinking about how fucking lucky i was. i could have been placed in a homeless shelter in the back streets of the bronx or hungry and starving in the outskirts of philippines. i could have been a child that never lived past his 10th birthday or a teen who never got to see her mother.

yet i was placed in a air-conditioned, comfortable, eat-until-overweight, go holiday, dare-to-think-about-tml life and still i complain every single day. i get to go out and know i have money to eat and to spend while somewhere else there's a kid my age wondering if today there's gonna be gruel to feed his dying baby sister.

thank God i'm here. its time to be grateful.

[edit] this is besides the point but i work as a customer service officer and as my last day present, i got attitude from a 15 year old acsi boy.
i know where u live and i noe what your name is.
don't ever EVER talk to a girl like that.
especially someone you never met or know. cos you obviously don't know who u are dealing with.
i had the power to accept u. but guess what. u blew your shit brains out of it.
a piece of advice. if you aspire to be mr. bean or his equal (read: lonely and stupid), carry on soldier. [/edit]

now back to being grateful.

//hearing aid: beautiful love - the afters

what a beautiful smoke smile


my new indulgence.

it went straight to my hips.

goal was an amazing watch. santiago munez is fucking my new idol. he plays ball like a football god.
i don't like newcastle but now i have this craving for any thing in black and white stripes. criminals included.
and raul was in the show. how sweet can a movie get. aaaah

work's ending.
so is my unstable income.

met up with kittylitter.inc for la-teh. we caught up so much since sunday.

[edit]
me: i wonder how the world is going to end.
russ: donno la. i want to live to see it.
burden: probably fire. since the last one was water.
russ: i wonder who will be noah.
me: eh pick me. i'll build a boat that will make superstar leo cry in shame. no more noah's ark, its the loner's ark.
burden and russ: ...
russ: you know when i was young, i went on those fucking big ships. my parents went to gamble and i was so hungry i cried. then when there was food, i didn't want to eat it. so in the end i spent the whole trip hungry and crying. sounds like a homeless baby on a real expensive ship eh. [/edit]

tell me why i love them.

God has finally gone high tech.

igod

its fucking hilarious.

four brothers twice, corpse bride, goal, 40-year-old virgin.
thai express, pastamania, cafe cartel, lerk thai, dharmas.
2 girl boxers, shirt, escada island kiss, slippers.
two doctors, one specialist


all in a week.

and i ask where has all my money gone.

//hearing aid: sunny came home - shawn colvin

i close my eyes and fly right out of my mind



its a little bit funny sunny

i'm at a chalet now and everyone's asleepin'. silly me brought a freaking laptop to chalet.
the past few days have been pretty exhilarating. aspect of finding a new pr job, the old job wanting me back. the beau and i finally spending some quality time together. the kittylitter gang fucking-finally getting our anal prince back.

how do u noe if some guys are your best friends?
they follow u to buy lingerie.
and willingly.

burden king and what!? man follow me and char down to town just for that. look who we ran into.


the grim weeper.

haha the coat is freaking nice.

another reason why kenneth is my bestest.


tau pok

if all else fails, i'll be a hippie and grow pot in my back yard - sandee goh

well said, sandee, well said.

//hearing aid: aida - sarah maclachlan

it's easy, we all falter. does it matter?

can you believe it? 16 teachers from my secondary (chij) left. apparently because of the principal. well i'll be.
that's a rumor... most of my loves left too. mr. ng, mrs gail siow... ms neo, gosh. everyone seems uphappy.
don't know whether to believe this news or not.

a wave of nostalgia hit me during lunch. i miss ij so much. i gave that school the most screwed years of my life. and within a blink, its been 2 years since i wore that blue and white uniform, put on the badge, forced my belt down my waist and my socks down my shoe.

10 whole years of ij gave me the best friends and times. just look at my friends. 90% of the girls are from ij.

gen, chang, feeb, char, ade, kris, sharmaine, nikki, rong.
all ij has given me.

screw all those who think we turn out to be arrogant and fucked up bitches. we turned out tough. and deal with that.

i still remember every recess, there would be spot checks on coloured hairbands, handphones, low socks (crap la also tio), safety pins and all kinds of minute stuff that we really couldn't be bothered about.

i remember the long walks to st. mikes canteen with zena, cherylan, gen, kris and yvonne.

the long fights me and nikki and jo used to have.

all the chinese classes that me and char ponned together.

the lame excuses we gave mr. yap to postpone physics (haiya mr. yap, the lesson was last period. now its free period)

the million and one wedgies, bra-unbuckling moments.

the times all the ij girls hopped off to wait for their oh-so-forbidden maris, sji and ri boys. at the bus stops. haha i wasn't a groupie ok.

the lantern festivals and we would thrown sparkles into the air and sing the stupid f4 song. what watch some shooting stars with u crap.

valentines day where our boyfriends would be forgotten for the day. our tables will be filled with candy and flowers. i always got a sunflower from nikki.

the isolated st. raphaels where the sec 4's were located, ostracised from the rest of the schools. we even had our own canteen and hill.

the toilets where there were lizards and cockroaches and about twenty girls with their elbows up tying their hair.

the pa system that would interfer with the radio broadcasting system. it would play jean danker during assembly.

mrs. how who for some reason, never gave up on the one class the school gave up on.

mrs. alex, the motherly figure.

mr. ng who loved freaking us up with sad stories of history.

mr. yap who brought a whole bag of toys for us

chen lao shi, who refused to tell us how to write the words for compo

mrs nicks who ran 2.4km and saved a drowing girl while 7 months pregnant

miss yap who claimed a moth flew into her mouth when she was yawning

mrs wong who called us names to spur us on and to prove us wrong too.

and my all time favourite:

mdm hong who hit our handphones by wrapping it in toilet paper and placing on her desk in the staff room. i recall her drama story telling ways.

i remember the long hours of eldds and dramaTeam. the silver we won at SYF and the 4 drama nights.

the last time the sec 4s sang the school song. we sang so loudly. and proudly.


forward chij.

i still feel proud people see me and say i have an ij face. i still feel pride when i see an ij in the street.

of cos not when their belts are clinging on for dear life on their hips and the girl looks like she's been raped and imprenanted with a child from species.

the ij spirit's living on
its searching far and far beyond
its never gonna die
its gonna live
in each of us
And we will keep it burning burning strong
the flame of zest lies in us all along
always inspiring us
to go on.

forward chij

//hearing aid: sunny came home - shawn colvin

chinablack face

i just got back from chinablack, the bling it on party. it started off ok. except most of my friends weren't really there. burden king and i hung out well.

the party started good. music was excellent. this idiot dancing behind me started shoving his arms over my shoulder infront of my face. that's not all, he was pointing his middle finger up at me. i turned several times, he had this smirk on his face. some china guy i think.

so since he middled fingered me, i just said: "fuck off."
he did thankfully, not before zooming in another victim.

speaking of victimizing, mommy-long-legs got victimized by the club. they didn't let her in cos she was underaged. and they threatened to call the police cos of a fake id.

okie admittly, it was her fault, but they were horrid to her. they not only banned her from the club for a year but refused to let her take her things which were upstairs.

she said by the road and cried. until i found her. since the music was getting bland and the crowd was getting raunchy and a tad boring, i accompanied her.

this worst part was getting them to let me in again into the club. sorry, they said, its a full house upstairs. i was like er, gonna grab my things and leave this shithole. they were like no no cannot, if we let u in then everyone will use the same excuse. i got to queue at the back of 15 people just to get my things.

so i asked the bouncer, are u going to pay for my friend's transport home? cos you left her without her cash or anything outside. and my transport, i gotta go too. so unless you are willing to pay for me and her, step outta the way and let me through.

ok, he said, ten mins be down here. or else.

i thought, or else what? you ban me for helping a friend? wait till a forum hears about this.

anyway i took a full 20 mins. nicely i stolled out infront of him. you took 20mins he said.

i looked at him and said i know.

busted joint. china black isn't that great. the drinks were watered down like plants (haha gr.)
we hung at macs till 3am and then i headed home with kenneth to talk for a while at my place.


for russ.
it would have been so much better if u were there.

sunny came home with venegence

//seeing eye dog: chinese walls - chen xi

even though i loathed the sight of him walking out of the doorway into the night, i knew it was impossible not to love him. how can i hate the very thing that breathes life into me?


the shakes.

after a gruelling day of work and falling asleep in the toilet, i met desmond.
its been almost 2 weeks since we last saw each other.

before that i was at a traffic junction. waiting for the light to turn. when it did, i felt a body pushed against me suddenly. A boy ah beng, with his badly bleached hair, typing away his sTiCkY cApZzz on his sms to his damn happening yio ah yio ah lian clistina ugly-gorilla wannabe girlfriend, walks past me without a single muttering of sorry or a gesture of salute. (ever wondered why a salute is also a sorry? eh?>

worst off, in his frenzy to meet his friends to pua CS, he knocked over a blind man who fell against me. the poor man was grasping for balance. before i could react, the ah beng disappeared.

i could have bit that bleached hair head off.

anyway, i walked the blind guy to the bus stop. apparently, his a foot relaxologist. ah ha. another outlet of release.

met desmond whom i almost forgot how he looked like.
watched four brothers. again. that show is simply amazing ok. hurry go watch it if u haven't. fucking action packed.


my sacrifice.

yes desmond wants to hang dices at his rear view mirror. i detest swinging thingys. but if it tickles his fancy and makes him happy, so be it. yes i paid for the dice. and you know what?

the packaging for it costs more then the dice itself.

china black tml! woots.

//hearing aid: everyday i love you less and less - kazier chiefs

russ has left to go fishing in the open sea. i miss that anal prince.

its burden king and dood (that's me) to fend for ourselves. no arm-wrestling, head butting, romping, hooking and any sort of strenous activity till anal prince gets back.

oh yes.

the beef soup yesterday was ohmygourd orgasmic till the last pepper cod.

and shooting stars with anal prince was fun. yes we made fun of every possible thing.

anal: "eh, go read the directions on how to warm the brownies leh."
me: "it says here on the box: turn left at street 21"

anal: "help! my hands are soapy! my mucus is coming out of my nose!"
me: where's your tissue?
anal: don't have!
me: you don't have tissue in your kitchen?! what next? no ice in your ice tray?
anal: hurry up! mucus! (sniff)
me: oh my gawd. you really don't have ice in your ice tray!
anal prince rubs nose on something.

me: eh. i'm gonna miss you when you're gone.
anal: how long have you known me?
me: 7 years why?
anal: and you still dare to lie to me?!

lots of laughing and hitting later, we had brownies. curled up in front of the tv with shooting stars still shooting crap.

i missed sitting in front of the tv and making fun of all the unglam shots with my two favourite boys.
well, burden king was out with the girlfriend.

sigh. i miss my anal prince.

//hearing aid: somebody told me - the killers (ministry of sound mix)

free ad space.
'Bling it On!' Party at China Black. Guys $12, girls $10. theme: the mafia. be there or be shunned by society. i'm serious. come on, the theme is mafia.

the past few days have been fast.
a few days back was a nice quiant wedding of a family member/friend/long lost very gorgeous person. she's 18 can you believe that and marrying a rich, drive-a-bmw, has-an-own-place aussie guy. he's a nice person. nope. not preggies apparently.

the highlight of the night was meeting my mom's ex-boyfriend. Ivan Fritzgerald.
a big man with a booming ohmygourd amazing smooth voice. he sang all these beautiful songs and flirted with the old woman, my mom. ah.

"wow. your children are good to look at. can you imagine if we got together? they'll be giving all these top models a run for their money."

uh. thanks uncle ivan?

anyway congrats to Kristina and Greg. hope you guys have a blissful marriage and life.

next... hanging with the boys.
been doing that for three days straight. but we never had so much fun before. i miss hanging just the three of us, nothing to do, all the romping and humping. the brawling.

qiulian banmain, marbbies, corpse bride and four brothers (ohmygourd jack is awesomely eye candy), kenneth's dad, soccer with deflatable balls, taking away father's day.

i'm blissed.


i love you so much that if you left i'll leave too.


kenneth's ultimate prop for job in the future.

kittylitter.inc and affliated companies: deuce bigalow on the 13th. all are requested to come. tickets will be paid for. by you. and please make sure you leave your grudges behind so that we won't be banned from coffee bean. again.


i feel much more like me.

//hearing aid: jimmy gets high - daniel powter

'Cause you don't need nobody to make it on your own
You dont need nobody you'd rather be alone
So Jimmy gets high tonight

i found this on my friend's blog. pretty interesting.



click me thanks adeline

my dirty little secret? its not to little. very dirty. and somehow... not much of a secret.
no. no no.
i'm not saying it here. and the one on the website... its not even close to it.

ha. i found out someone else's dirty little secret. mel.
i'll see you tml.

randomization.

//hearing aid: hard to beat - Hard-Fi

work's been kind. cept for the occasional dickheads who think the company evolves around them.
i have a quiet desk to myself. facing a walkway. they moved me from the bosses' office. haha. damnsit.

went over to matt's today. my cute lil boy next door. or next road. or next district
we drank my favourite baileys and played indian poker, drinking goggles and 'tiew!'. 'tiew!' is evil.

and look who we found. the real hamburglar!



kenneth and his ingenious idea to eat and look at us at the same time.
oh did i say ingenious?
whoops.

just got off the phone with him.
he's taken the hint.
and i'm glad he did.

my friends are home from bangkok. i have a life again!

//seeing eye dog: chinese walls - chen xi

he left me cold on a winter's day. I never knew that i will never see him again. i thought he would return for me like he always did during hide and seek.

i look at people on the streets. and i get envious.
i want me to be like them. interlaced hands, a lustrous future.
sometimes i wish u would put me into the centre of your life. make me your reason.
for a while. just a day sometimes. i just want you to make me feel special.

i want to not hold your hand and feel uncomfortable about it.

oh no. i think that i'm becoming needy. pfft.
i don't want to become a clingy girlfriend. i saw what it did to some people
i saw what it did to us.
no no.
karen.
you are not allowed to be like this.


so there.

//hearing aid: everyday i love you less and less - kaifer chiefs

i spent the whole day with the bangs. just them and me. at russ's house.
we met up for a swim with char in the morn.

remember russ and me reaching a new level of friendship?
now kenneth and i have too.

fly me to the moon and let me sit among the stars

then off to work char went. and then off to bishan we went.
homeward bound next and we slept for two hours.

not before romping for about half an hour. yes romping.
pfft.

we went for dinner near russ's place not before cuddling up to one tree hill and some other random show.
came back for shooting stars.

olinda's on-screen boyfriend is all mine.

if he can date her, he can date me. haha. i nearly cried when she kissed him ok. haha omg.

mr. emo kid.
his real name is david aw. awmygourd.
no pictures. no other mention except that creditals and 20 mins of drool worthy moments.
why is it so unfair. why!?

okie kenneth and russ would like u to see me get stuck on a railing on a busy road.


i would like you to see kenneth sucking on russ's nips



i love them. so much

//hearing aid: invincable - ok go

i met my dream car. again.
i know its a shallow dream to have but i have a good chance of achieving it



the heart flutters


i touched it. omg.

haha. shit u all how say it looks like a wild boar. all except desmond la.
haha. and russ and i have reached a new level of friendship.

boxer shorts galore.

here's to my favourite show of all times.

whose line is it anyway?

can u not laugh at this:




made my day. man. i bought the whole first season of it for 6 bucks. time to tickle my funny bone.

//hearing aid: quidam - from the quidam ost

quidam was fucking amazing.
i remember when i first went to saltimbanco back in 1998 or 2000 i think... i was already blown away.
but then came quidam.

amazing stunts. gorgeous performances. All with a simple plot: a girl was getting bored at home and she wondered into a mystical world of quidam.
tada.

for two solid hours, i was hooked and wanting more. worth the 122dollar tickets.



after that dinner at sushi teh and dessert at pregos. the tiramisu...


inearlydrooledonmyboobs.

:)

to all yc members:
there's a gathering of prayer and bak ku teh and possibly coffee table mahjong on friday at matt's place. if u dunno how to get there, meet at shaw plaza balastier and we'll walk together ok?

i still love you guys